Fred Cavaiani
The average person has between 60,000-80,000 thoughts per day. Eighty percent of these thoughts are negative. The mind only relaxes for about 35 minutes a day. Most of the day is spent preoccupied with the 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts that rush through our head. No wonder a person can feel quite worn out at the end of a day.
Yet there are these moments each day when our mind can become quiet. How can we increase these relaxation times where we can feel peaceful and leave stress behind?
It is called paying attention to the quiet times each day and discovering what they are like. It is also reserving time each day to be quiet and learn to meditate. When we are quiet and meditative, we can remove so much frustration from our mind. In a 2008 study it was demonstrated that that two minutes of silence relieves tension in the busy day. This develops new cells in the hippocampus, the region of the brain associated with memory, emotion and learning.
“When you are not distracted by noise or goal-oriented tasks there appears to be a quiet time that allows your conscious workspace to process things. During these periods of silence, your brain has the freedom it needs to discover its place in your internal and external world. The default mode helps you think about profound things in an imaginative way.” (Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 2013).
Herman Melville once wrote: “All profound things and emotions of things are preceded and attended by silence.”
I have many friends who have been practicing silence and meditation for years. When I talk with these friends there seems to be always a peaceful presence about them and a gentle wisdom that is expressed.
In this busy, rushed and technological age it would be good to pay close attention to the quiet times each day when the distractions seem to be gone for a while. These are moments of oasis where when we embrace them we become refueled with gentle energy and quiet wisdom. Our body and mind become healthier when we pay attention to these quiet times and increase them each day.
Memory is increased. Blood pressure is lowered. Sleep is improved. Meditation and silence take us out of negative thinking.
Every quiet moment that happens to us each day becomes a wonderful opportunity to help us become healthier: physically, emotionally and spiritually. Tune into the quiet times of your day and let yourself experience these times in a deeper manner. Take daily pauses of rest. Learn to appreciate quiet time. Learn to experience meditation. Each of us will have moments when there is quiet and the distractions seem to be gone for a few seconds or a few minutes. These are grace-filled moments that need to be increased.
As I get older, I find myself having more quiet time each day. Though I am still working in my profession I have learned to reserve much more quiet time in my weekly schedule. I have discovered that the quiet time helps me to find much more meaning in the daily moments of life. I have experienced a much better appreciation for life and a better more comfortable understanding of God and the next life. I find myself becoming less judgmental about other people. I experience my body as much more relaxed and healthier. I also find myself eating in a much healthier manner. All of this was not planned ahead of time. It just evolved because of the quiet times of meditation that have helped me to listen more attentively to others and to deepen my experience of God.
I now realize that when the distractions are gone these are grace-filled moments to savor and nurture. It also means that I can increase my quiet time and my meditation time and not feel that I am supposed to be doing something. Everything will fall into place when I reserve a lot of quiet time each day.
The research on the benefits of daily meditation and silence is overwhelming. In a day of being preoccupied with so many thoughts, ideas and negativity, quiet time becomes very important. I am going to make sure that I have more time each day when the distractions are gone. It will energize me physically. It will energize me spiritually. It will energize me emotionally. I must tune into silence and quiet time with God.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com.
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