How to relieve networking headaches

Ellen Keiley, BridgeTower Media Newswires

Q. I hear networking is about being a connector. What is a connector?

A.
The ultimate networking pros are connectors of people. They are thoughtful, proactive and always interested in helping others with whatever they may need.

It is a great practice when you are talking with someone to try to connect dots and think about how you can be helpful to that person. When you learn what they do for work or learn what their interests are, ask yourself: “Do I know anyone who would be a good connection for that person?” If you do, introduce them. Maybe they have a relative looking for a job, and you know someone at an organization who might be able to open a door for them.

I’ve even introduced two people because they reminded me so much of each other, and it turned out they lived in the same building and became great friends! They were so appreciative. It doesn’t have to be just about business. Being known as a connector is a great way to build a personal brand.

Q. I have a difficult time attending events and walking into a room full of people I don’t know, but I know I need to get out there. Any tips?

A.
You are not alone! Many lawyers, and people in general, have the same issue — even those at the highest levels in their career. I hear this on a regular basis. The good news is that there are tips that can help you, and the more you attend events, the easier it will get.

Also, organization involvement can be really helpful in these situations, because you end up seeing the same people over and over and will see familiar faces at the organization’s events. Below are some tips that can help create a more comfortable experience.

Q. How do I end a conversation?

A.
I think that was the hardest situation I encountered when I first started attending events. And I laughed when I saw a pro networker end a conversation with me. I said to myself: “That’s how you do it!” It can be a very painful situation when a conversation goes stale and neither person knows how to move on.

It really is as simple as stating, “It was nice meeting you. I am going to go network more.” After all, the purpose of attending a networking event is to network and meet new people.

You can also say something like, “I am going to go refresh my drink” or “I see someone over there that I need to say hello to. It was nice meeting you,” and exchange business cards.

Q. What do I do when there is a room full of people who seem to know each other well? How do I break into a group of people talking?

A.
That can be a very uncomfortable situation. I suggest you walk up to a group, stand off to the side, and make eye contact. Chances are someone will invite you into the conversation.

Another thing you can do is approach the event coordinator and say, “I am new to the organization and don’t know anyone. Can you introduce me to someone?” If you start off with an introduction to someone, it will really start off your experience in a positive way and help you feel more comfortable.

It’s a good practice to look for someone standing by him or herself. It’seasier than breaking into a group, and that person will really appreciate you coming over.

Lastly, you can go to an event with a friend or colleague, but be careful not to just stay glued to each other the whole time. I’ve seen this happen, especially when many attorneys from a firm attend an event together, and they just talk to each other. That defeats the purpose of attending a networking event! Make an attempt to meet new people, and introduce your friend/colleague to the people you meet. It’s a great practice to introduce people in the room to others in general — even if you didn’t know them previously.

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Ellen M. Keiley is president of EMK Consulting Group, which offers business development coaching and consulting, public relations, and training for law firms. If you have a question for Ellen, email her at ellenkeiley@emkconsultinggroup.com.