Counselor's Corner: The purpose of life

Fred Cavaiani

Where am I going? This is a question everyone will ask at some point in life. Life begins. Life ends. What happens next? And what happens between the beginning of life and the end of life on this earth? I just returned from a graduation party. The mother of the high school graduate grew up with our two daughters and her younger brother grew up with our son. They lived one house from us in Troy. Our two daughters were at this celebration. As we gathered and shared memories, I noticed the people: young, middle aged and senior citizens. It was a panorama of life. After the party, my daughter took me over to her good friend’s home. She teaches with my daughter at the same high school. There I met another friend who was visiting.

Another viewpoint of people of all ages showing care and compassion for one another. At the end of this day, I kept asking myself the same question: What is the purpose of life for all of us? We are born. We live. We die, sometimes young, often old.
I begin to realize that every one is looking for a profound and meaningful experience in life. I personally think that this experience comes from taking time to have an experience with God. Sometimes religions can help with this but often religions can block this experience by becoming condemning and judgmental toward people.

At a gathering of people celebrating a high school graduation, warmth, gentleness, kindness, and many smiles.

I think the purpose of life is to always be kind and loving and walk into a profound experience of a loving God in each moment of life. I write a daily reflection that I share with a lot of people. Here is what I wrote today and it coincides with my article today: The most important principle in my life is to consistently deepen my connection with God. No one or nothing has to change for me to be happy and peaceful. To be happy and peaceful is to be immersed in God who is the source of love, joy and peace. Every moment of my life is meant to be a deeper immersion into God. Only in God is my soul at rest. My God and my all.

To have this deeper immersion in a loving God, I must always be kind and loving toward others. I block love when I criticize and condemn others. I am realizing more that the purpose of my life has always been to bring love to others which pushes me into a deeper experience of God. Wherever love is present, there God is present. I really believe that some of the people who have no religion or formal faith and may feel that they are agnostic or atheist are more connected to God than many people who belong to some formal faith church or community. Anyone who is loving toward others in some way is deeply connected to God.

The purpose of life is to be kind and loving. When this happens, amazing things happen. Where ever kindness and love are present, there God is present. I am realizing more and more that negative, critical and resentful attitudes become an emotional and spiritual prison which block me from experiencing the love and Ppace of God in this present moment. The more affirming and positive I act and feel, the more my heart opens up to God.

I think the purpose of life is to experience giving love to others. It is also to experience God in quiet reflective listening. Giving love and taking time for gentle reflection help me to be immersed in God. I then begin to realize that this immersion in God will last for ever and I better understand that from the beginning of life to the end of life will be joyful no matter what happens around me. And it becomes my experience that the end of life is but a doorway to an eternal life of love and joy. Religions can tell me this. But loving others and quiet time with God help me to experience this profoundly. The purpose of life is an amazing journey of love which will last forever. Only in God is my soul at rest. But God is love. The purpose of life is be loving and reflective in each moment. This helps me to become very receptive to the Source of everything and everyone.

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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com.



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