Tracy K. Lorenz ...

We’re All Going to Die

(Editor’s Note: The fact that this column and the Rich Nelson’s column below are both about the Coronavirus was not planned.)

I made the mistake of turning on “Good Morning America” a couple days ago and as near as I can tell we’re all going to die. The Coronavirus is here and we’re, basically, meat. They had reporters on the scene at the airport, they had doctors on showing grown adults how to wash their hands, and they had a death meter displayed at all times like a telethon.

Okay, I made that last part up.

I know that the media likes to cause panic but I’ve never seen anything quite like this, the number of people who have died IN THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES could fit in my car.  And as near as I can tell all the people who died were, like, a hundred years old.

Shortly after I turned GMA off I saw a guy on TV who had the Coronavirus and he said “It just felt like a cold, if they hadn’t quarantined me I probably would have gone to work,” and yet people are buying (useless) face masks and pouring on Purell like they’re starring in Flashdance.

I can’t tell you how many of these media created panics I’ve been through but it’s a lot. SARS, Swine Flu, Bird Flu, Y2K, Ebola, West Nile Virus, and probably about a dozen more and NONE of them ever turn into anything.  The only communicable disease that ever lived up to the hype was AIDS and that was completely preventable. I remember being in college when AIDS first hit the scene and there were flyers and posters in every dorm saying “There’s a new disease out there called ‘The Aids’” and it gave a description and ways to avoid it. And for some reason I got the feeling that that one had legs, there was a certain tone to the flyers that made me think they were serious.

The weird thing about watching these news anchors is you can kind of tell they’re hoping people die.  They won’t say it out loud but they know that panic leads to viewers and viewers lead to paychecks. You know how The Weather Channel sends reporters out to the beach on Lake Michigan before a big storm hits and the storm NEVER, EVER, lives up to the hype? The guy is standing there in his Weather Channel jacket just praying for a breeze or a wave? That’s how Robin Roberts looked when she was talking about this killer virus.

(BTW, that lady needs a new hair stylist.)

So if you want to dig into the Beanie Baby-like hype that’s up to you but I’m not buying it.  I’ve seen it too many times, the MSM gloms onto something (Russia, Kavanaugh, The Catholic Kid, the Ukraine, “Hands up don’t shoot”, popcorn lung, etc.) and they milk it until the next news cycle hits.  Buy some hand sanitizer and eat some vitamin C gummies and you’ll be fine and if you’re not fine, well, we’re all going to be dead in ten years anyway, or so we’ve been ... Globally warned.

Printed by permission of the author. Email him at Lorenzatlarge@aol.com.
Get Tracy’s latest book at BarnesandNoble.com or Amazon.com, or  download it from www.fastpencil.com.
Only $3.99, cheap.

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