By Malcolm Berko
Dear Mr. Berko:
I just recently heard about a trading system on Sirius Radio called Trend Trade, developed by Michael Parness.
He commented on the radio that during the last two years of our bear market, he made $3.8 million and that the three years prior to that, he made $8 million using his Trend Trade system.
So I looked it up on the Web, and it’s true.
I am very anxious to sign up with Trend Trade, which will cost me about $3,500 upfront to use his system.
But my wife insists that I first ask you for an opinion.
I told her that you’ve probably never used or observed his system, but hopefully, you know about it.
And if you agree, then I will use my credit card to purchase the tools I will need to make $50,000 or $25,000 a month, as the people do who use Trend Trade.
Please respond as soon as you can.
B.R., Troy, Mich.
Dear B.R.:
Anyone who believes a financial advert on Sirius Radio and confirms it by reading the paid advert on the Internet is either puddled, addled, dippy or all three.
Now, I won’t call Parness’ advertising disingenuous, but let’s just say that his claims are not a plausible extension of reality —even an alternative reality.
I don’t believe a thing that he advertises, and I’m disappointed that you do, though your wife sounds like a very smart lady.
I can tell you with absolute certainty that the Trend Trade system isn’t worth a dime in a mud hole.
I’m also enormously underwhelmed by the mega-profit claims of purported users who, for a sixpence and a six-pack, would swear that they were abducted by an alien space ship.
A congressman once told me, “If you are going to tell a lie, it’s best to tell a real big whopper because most folks will sooner believe a big lie than a small fib.”
I know you very much want to believe Parness’ prodigious profit claims, but you’re desperately allowing dreams to overrule your common sense.
But you’re right as sunlight I have never seen that bodacious system.
Nor have I asked that his published record of “brilliant” bear market trades be certified by a member of the Financial Accounting Standards Board.
I don’t have to. It’s simple logic.
I know if I leap from an airplane at 10,000 feet without a parachute that I will not survive.
That is simple logic, too.
Now, I have a first-name relationship with many professionals in this business who are hedge fund and mutual fund managers, professional traders, analysts and quants with major firms on the Street.
So for grins and giggles, I spoke with four of them, including one gal and one quant. Not one of them, whose business it is to make as much money as possible as quick as possible, has ever heard of Parness or his Trend Trade system.
Now, if Trend Trade delivers just 20 percent of what it’s jacked to deliver, those professionals would be all over him like white on rice begging for an audience, and Bernie Madoff could have gone legit.
I’m certain that Parness is a loving husband, a marvelous father and a grand human being ... though I could be wrong.
And I’m certain that Trend Trade is as useless as last year’s annual Christmas letter ... and I can’t be wrong about that.
Parness is a clever businessman promoting outrageous hope to Sirius Radio’s wide-eyed and gullible listeners, many of whom believe in the Great Pumpkin, the Tooth Fairy and a Fountain of Youth.
And Parness makes bushels of bucks from mooks like you who will part with a few grand to fly with his magic cape.
Grow up, my friend. Parness’ Trend Trade is just a trip to Never Never Land, a fantasy island that you wish were true. Your wife just saved you from making a fool of yourself.
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Please address your financial questions to Malcolm Berko, P.O. Box 8303, Largo, FL 33775 or e-mail him at mjberko@yahoo.com. Visit Creators Syndicate Web site at www.creators.com.
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