By Hon. Robert J. Lunn
The Daily Record Newswire
“Alright, now pay attention and listen up!”
OK, so I rarely, if ever, uttered those words in my courtroom.
My wife, Paula, on the other hand, spent more than 30 years as an elementary school reading coach and I know she must have spoken those words in the classroom from time to time.
So, listen up and I will share something with you that you probably never knew before. A publication titled “The Reading Teacher’s Book of Lists” written by Edward B. Fry, according to my wife is one of the greatest resources a reading teacher could possibly have. I browsed the book and found such useful lists as the 20 most common prefixes, and a list of words based on people’s names — eponyms. In Section 2, list 23, you can find a list of easily confused words. Lists of people’s names, easily confused? The book was beginning to remind me of our own government affairs.
For weeks I have been trying to understand how it could be that our very own Department of Homeland Security, with the help of who knows how many other government bureaucrats, placed a young 6-year-old girl on a no-fly list. You must have read or seen the story: Alyssa Thomas, age six, arrived with her dad at the Cleveland airport for a flight to Minneapolis. She was about to make her First Communion. Fortunately for all of the other passengers on the plane, the security threat was intercepted and prevented from boarding.
As I recall, her dad was a well respected doctor whose name was not on any list — in fact he could have entered the aircraft safely, taken his seat and waved good-bye to his child from the tarmac. Normally I wouldn’t be so fixated on this kind of story, but remember, and try not to cry, that I’m referring to the same government-type folks who soon will be administering our universal health care — the same plan that is going to save us millions of dollars over the next decade.
What, me worry? Not at all.
Our airlines are safe and Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano told us so as recently as Christmas day, when she proclaimed to the world “the system worked” and the Detroit-bound airline passengers were spared from a planned terrorist attack. The system worked?
The wannabe “underwear bomber,” to my knowledge, was not on any list and, for some reason, the Department of State ignored repeated warnings from his own father that his son had become increasingly radical and might pose a threat. The “system worked” if you define the “system” as reliance on a handful of astute passengers who tackled the “crotch bomber” and dragged him into first class until he was subdued.
That is no way to get an upgrade to first class.
But Homeland Security apparently still retains 6-year-old Alyssa on the No Fly List. Her dad was advised to fill out the required paperwork, but ultimately DHS would neither confirm nor deny that Alyssa’s name was on the list. In response to media inquiries, DHS replied: “The watch lists are an important layer of security to prevent individuals with known or suspected ties to terrorism from flying.”
Meanwhile, every time I fly, I am amazed at the amount of time spent scanning older women in wheelchairs. When I finally do settle in and buckle up, I take a deep breath and take comfort in knowing that Alyssa is not on my plane, or any other plane.
Of course, I feel bad that she still presumably has gone without her First Holy Communion, but I guess everyone must do his or her part.
By the way, did anyone in the news media question the department’s official explanation?
How can you possibly have “known or suspected ties” to terrorism in six short years? When did Alyssa begin? In diapers? (See reference to “crotch bomber,” supra.)
Since we’re on the topic of lists, I have a suggestion for all of my readers: Make up your own list. It’s therapeutic.
Begin with a list of absurdities, then e-mail me one or two of what you include. I will write about it and give you full credit. I believe one of the unintended consequences of my column is the fact that everything I read and see now takes on an entirely different meaning — head scratchers, truly. For example, I’ll leave you with this query: Why do heavy duty construction trucks have huge orange signs on their back ends that read DO NOT FOLLOW—CONSTRUCTION VEHICLE?
I never had the courage to ask anyone what that is supposed to mean. It seems to me that, once you are driving close enough to read the sign, it’s too late.
And don’t you know where you are driving? And why would you want to follow a construction vehicle anyway?
Create your own book of lists. Inevitably you will do a better job than some government agency and, if I keep this up in my writings, I likely will end up on a government list, too.
The Hon. Robert J. Lunn served for 14 years (1995 to 2008) on the New York State Supreme Court. He is a partner at Trevett, Cristo, Salzer and Andolina. Lunn is the contributing author to three publications from West Publishing, the most recent being The Companion Handbook for Pattern Jury Instructions. He can be reached at rlunn@ Trevettlaw.com.
