Memorial helps father come to terms with son’s death
By Emily Pfund
MLive.com
OSCODA TOWNSHIP, Mich. (AP) — Vietnam veteran John Dearing says he was overwhelmed with guilt when his son died while on combat duty in Iraq in 2005.
When he got the tragic news, Dearing reflected on the day he accompanied his son, John W. “JW” Dearing, to a recruiter’s office to enlist in the U.S. Army. The younger Dearing was a 17-year-old high school junior at the time.
“He enlisted for college purposes,” Dearing said. “That’s why a lot of kids do it. I was proud of him.”
It proved a fateful decision.
JW Dearing was killed on Nov. 21, 2005 when the Humvee in which he was riding was hit by an improvised explosive device in Habbaniyah, Iraq.
The elder Dearing said he felt partly to blame for his son’s death because he encouraged him to join the military.
“I beat myself up over it for about a month,” he said. “Then I thought, ‘He wouldn’t want you to do this.’ I had to accept it.”
Today, the elder Dearing has channeled his emotions into honoring his son. He’s built a monument to JW Dearing in a veterans park at the former Paul B. Wurtsmith Air Force Base in Oscoda.
The monument is a large gray boulder with what Dearing calls a “field cross:” a bronze helmet, rifle and pair of Army boots paying tribute to his fallen son.
Dearing said he and his relatives spent more than $3,500 to create the tribute to JW Dearing, a 2003 Oscoda High School graduate. The high school named a baseball field for JW Dearing several years ago.
John Dearing said the memorials are a fitting way to keep his son’s memory alive.
“One guy told me that when you quit talking about (dead loved ones), they’re actually gone. I don’t want him to be gone,” he said.
Dearing said his son wanted to pursue a career in law enforcement.
“He was funny and smart,” Dearing said. “He got along with everybody. He was good at everything he did.”
JW Dearing was home on leave for 10 days when he married his girlfriend, Amanda, on June 11, 2005. Just four days after the wedding, he left for California to prepare to ship out to Iraq.
An improvised explosive device went off beneath the vehicle, killing Dearing instantly. The four other soldiers in the vehicle were severely burned and later died from their wounds.
“His commander said they were targeted,” John Dearing said. “Their interpreter had been arrested the week before because he was giving insurgents information. This was retaliation.”
The new memorial is helping Dearing’s father to come to terms with his son’s death. He’s using his perspective today to help other families who find themselves in a similar situation.
“I went to 70 funerals (for soldiers) after he was killed,” Dearing said. “I would go to support the dads. I would tell them it doesn’t get better, just a little easier. You’ll never forget them and we’re going to grieve for the rest of our lives, but they’re heroes and that’s what you’ve got to look at.”
