Fred Cavaiani
We begin again. 2013 is really here. A new journey begins for each of us. What will your journey be this year? What do you seek most? Most of us look for something deeper in life at the beginning of a New Year. It is the reason we make resolutions. We want to get to that deeper more satisfying state in life where our egos will feel good and our self esteem will be elevated to a good feeling level. As we begin a New Year we dream of success and comfort. We have hidden desires that maybe no disasters of ill health or financial abyss will happen to us. There is a secret longing that maybe this year we will find the lotto ticket of success and comfort. Very religious people often make resolutions to become very holy during the New Year. Yet all of these dreams and hopes and fantasies for a better life never seem to be quite realized. Everything seems to fall short.
I think there is a reason why we often feel so disappointed in ourselves and in other people. We look for happiness and peace as coming toward us from something outside ourselves instead of realizing that this “lotto of happiness and peace” comes from something within our self. We need to realize that life, love and peace happens only in a humble encounter with the present moment of life.
I think that in each moment of life there is a Divine Energy always present to embrace us with wisdom, meaning and love. That Divine Energy, Higher Power, or God has been spoken about in all the great religious traditions since men and women first walked on this earth. Shamans in primitive tribes, Imans, Rabbis, priests and ministers all proclaimed that there is Something Divine, Powerful and Loving. For centuries mankind has been seeking a union with the Divine.
I have met many people in my life who seem to have encountered a Union with the Divine in the present moment. These men and women give out a peaceful, calm and loving presence to everyone. Wherever they are and whatever they are doing seems to be done with kindness and gentleness. Talking with someone like this seems to give me an experience of peace and love. I never feel condemned or judged by these people. We have all met people like this. They seem to have something that we wish we could have. What is it?
I personally think that people who are consistently peaceful and loving have encountered God in a profound manner. They have let their egos be humbled by attentive listening to others and to God. People like this create within me a desire for something deeper in life. They inspire me to realize that there is a Loving, Peaceful God in life who comes to everyone at every moment in life.
I have also met many “religious” people who seem to be caught up with judging and condemning those who see things differently than they do. Whenever I am around someone who is condemning and judging the motives of others I want to withdraw from them. I think all of us act like these “religious people” at times. We think that people are wrong and not good if they do not see things as we see them.
Have you ever been with a group of people who are connected because they bemoan the evils of the world, or condemn other people who think differently. do you feel energized after you have been with a group like this? Have your ever been with a group of people who try to see the good in everything and everyone and share things in a peaceful, loving manner even in the midst of struggles and difficulties? When you leave this group of people, it easy to feel hopeful, peaceful and optimistic again.
Sometimes I think the greatest struggle in life is to make a decision to be quietly humble and peaceful and learn through prayer and meditation, to find goodness everywhere. When I can become quiet and realize that there is a Divine Presence everywhere waiting to embrace me, I can realize that everyone and everything has something to teach me. When I can realize that all movements in psychology, religion, spirituality and human encounters are for the purpose of teaching me to become humble and open non-judgmental, then I think I have a very good chance of discovering happiness and peace in each moment of 2013. And it will not depend upon what is happening around me. It will simply be present to me.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at (248)362-3340. His e-mail address is Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com.
