Lisa Henderson-Newlin, The Levison Group
The saying goes that behind every successful man there’s a woman. I couldn’t agree more, mostly because I’m a woman and I support my own. However, what’s the saying about who is behind every successful woman? Is it just assumed it’s another woman? I suspect so, because if a man can’t become successful on his own and must solicit help from a woman, I doubt he could help someone else become successful. Thus, the only logical conclusion is that behind every successful woman, there is another woman.
This is certainly the case for me, at least when it comes to my job. Who is this woman? My mother? My best friend? My hairdresser? No, but she’s a close second. The woman behind my success is my secretary Jody, and she’s a superhero. Maybe she’s just my superhero, but I prefer it that way. I don’t share well with others.
I realize this may be difficult to believe, but I can be a bit of a disaster at times. By “at times” I mean whenever I’m awake. That’s not true. Even when I’m asleep I still make a mess of things. I knock over the water bottle on my night stand and “accidentally” jab my husband in the ribs when he snores loudly.
Despite my best efforts, I’m a whirlwind of activity and have several balls in the air at any given time. Since I can’t juggle, this is a difficult task, especially if trying to juggle during the whirlwind I create. Who knew juggling in wind would be so difficult? Enter, my secretary. Somehow, she’s able to keep me organized, which makes her a miracle worker. Granted, she may not be able to turn water into wine (although there are times I wish she could), but she can turn water into my afternoon energy shake, and sometimes that’s just as important. It just isn’t as much fun.
Jody is more than just my secretary, she’s my superhero. Making sure no appointment goes unscheduled, she reminds me not only when briefs or motions are due, but she also reminds me when my dental cleaning is due, and that I should floss a day or two before going. Yes, she puts this on my calendar. My dentist and my gums thank her for that.
As if keeping me and my oral hygiene updated isn’t enough, she does much more. Each day she zealously fights my evil nemesis, Dick T. Ation. He is a wordy character who talks for long periods of time, giving orders to send emails, make copies, and to make sure I turned off the space heater. He can be quite demanding at times, and although she won’t ever complain, I suspect Dick. T. Ation frequently makes her life difficult. Does Jody scoff at Dick T. Ation? Of course not. She sees him as a worthy opponent, and takes on the daily battle.
However, I must admit she doesn’t do it alone. She has help from her sidekick, Coffee, the Bean Wonder. Together, Jody and Coffee are unstoppable, with Coffee giving her not only the energy to forge ahead, but also the stamina to endure a day of fighting Dick T. Ation.
Unfortunately, Jody is like other superheroes in the sense that she does have an Achilles heel; a weakness that can be exploited to lead to her demise. What is her kryptonite, you ask? What force is so strong to keep her from always being productive and fighting the evil Dick T. Ation? Her own bladder.
Although Jody can single-handedly manage my schedule along with my daily absent-minded behavior of forgetting my purse in various locations, Jody can be weakened by one of her own internal organs. She has no defense to it. However, I don’t blame Jody for this perceived weakness. Since she is approximately 100 pounds, and the size of a sixth grader, her bladder is equally tiny. She can’t help that her body can’t effectively co-exist with a Big Gulp. She does her best with what she’s got. Whoever said size doesn’t matter wasn’t referring to bladders in superheroes. (They also
weren’t referring to tubs of movie theater popcorn. For only $8.00 more you could get a large!)
Honestly, I think the weak bladder makes her a better superhero. It makes her likeable, relatable, and more respected. I appreciate her more now that I know not only how hard she’s working, but also that she’s fighting her own organs in addition to Dick T. Ation.
So allow me to publically thank my superhero secretary. I couldn’t do my job without her, nor would I want to. Jody, thanks for all you do. I will have a cape waiting for you at the office on Monday. It’s red, which is the color of justice.
––––––––––
Lisa Henderson-Newlin is a member of the law firm McAnany Van Cleave and Phillips. Contact Under Analysis by email at comments@levisongroup.com.
© 2013 Under Analysis L.L.C.
