Edward Poll, The Daily Record Newswire
“Perception is reality.” It’s an old phrase known to all marketing and salespeople. Marketing folks seek to frame their presentation in ways that we will perceive their offering in the best possible light, most favorable to the outcome they desire.
But how we perceive something is dependent on our perspective.
Three instances in the last few days have brought this home to me more vividly than ever before.
The first one occurred this morning. I was walking my dog very slowly because my bike injury has yet to heal completely (though it’s getting better every day, thank you). Suddenly, I saw a bicycle — what is sometimes called a beach cruiser — in the middle of the road. It was totally out of context and I had difficulty processing why someone would leave an apparently good bike in the middle of the road, with its kickstand down and standing upright.
I saw a note taped to the seat and walked over to it. There was some writing on the back, which made no sense. Then, a middle-aged man drove up, going the other way, stopped, got out and began to put the bike in the back of his pickup. He said the sign said “Free.” I had yet to see that side of the page. I walked on, realizing that my initial perspective was far from accurate.
The second example happened last week in a conversation with a urologist. As they age, many people find themselves awakening in the middle of the night to empty their bladders. A doctor told me patients come to him to “fix the problem.” He suggests that that perspective may not be the correct one.
Obviously, every instance stands on its own. But as people age, they sleep less and are likely to be awakened more easily by sounds that didn’t disturb them in earlier years, like a creaking house or snoring.
When I was a youth, there was a major fire across the street from my house. I slept right through the tumult created by the fire department; today, I’d be awake in a flash. And have you heard the expression: “I get my best ideas in my sleep”?
Once awake, you decide to honor the bladder urge so you can go back to sleep. Thus, instead of thinking that there is something medically wrong, we might accept the aging process as natural and move on. Again, a matter of perspective.
And then we come to the third example — the one directly related to the law. When I was a practicing lawyer dealing with others’ marital issues, I often found that one of the parties felt like the “victim.” Usually, when the aggrieved party (with the help of a psychologist) came to the realization that he or she couldn’t control the other but could take charge of his or her own life and feelings, the dynamics of the family environment changed.
When you accept that you have no control over the other party but do have control over your own feelings and actions, a marvelous transformation occurs. Sometimes there is separation; sometimes there is reconciliation. But there will be change. Perception becomes reality.
And haven’t we all talked about there being “two sides to every story”? That’s why we have lawsuits and courts to resolve differences — differences caused by alternative perspectives that lead to different versions of reality. It’s up to the trier of fact to decide which version is more acceptable under the circumstances.
I would argue, then, that perspective — not perception — is everything.
—————
Edward Poll is a speaker, author and board-approved coach to the legal profession. He can be contacted at edpoll@lawbiz.com. Also visit his interactive community for lawyers at www.LawBizForum.com.
