Under Analysis: Stuffing and secretaries; a time to be thankful

 Lisa Henderson-Newlin, The Levison Group

We just wrapped up the Thanksgiving holiday and I’m stuffed. Actually, the fact that I’m stuffed has no relationship to the Thanksgiving holiday, as I regularly like to consume as many carbohydrates as possible, regardless of the season. Thanksgiving just makes it acceptable to the masses.

Maybe it’s the tryptophan, or maybe it’s the wine, but whatever the reason, I’m feeling thankful this holiday season. In light of that, I’ve decided to point out a few things I’m grateful for when it comes to my law practice. (Don’t kid yourselves. It’s not the tryptophan talking. It’s the wine.)

When I started practicing law years ago, I would have thought my list of things to be grateful for would include things like justice and the search for the truth. Maybe that’s still the case, although sometimes the truth isn’t necessarily something I want to know. This is especially true when it comes to the amount of calories I ingested this Thanksgiving holiday. Then again, that’s not a truth related to the practice of law.

Now that I’ve been out several years, I realize there are many things I’m thankful for in my job, many of which are things I take for granted. Probably the biggest thing (or person) I’m thankful for is my secretary. As you know, I was recently dumped by my favorite secretary, and those wounds are still fresh. However, as the old saying goes, “hop back on that Dictaphone and start making legal magic,” so I’ve pushed through. Maybe that’s not exactly what the saying is, but you take my point.

Either way, I’m still making legal magic. Sort of.

Even with the devastating loss I’ve suffered, I’ve persevered and forged ahead with a new secretary. She’s been quite the blessing, as anyone who listens to me mumble and ramble all day while trying to make sense of nonsensical sentences is worthy of a prize. Wine is probably the most appropriate prize. 

Come to think of it, maybe that’s how she is able to power through my dictation.

It’s not just that I’m grateful she works for me and types whatever I say. I’m also thankful she doesn’t point out the barking dogs in the background or the occasional shout from my husband that the oven is smoking because I forgot about the casserole I made for dinner. 

Maybe that’s just added entertainment for her.

Either way, I’m thankful to have her and even more thankful she keeps her judgments to herself. That’s probably the best perk of having such a great secretary.

I’m also grateful for online legal research. Gone are the days of trekking to the law library to find a perfect case on point in the pocketpart of a musty book. Now I can peruse the legal information highway from the comfort of my couch while wearing pajamas. 

Who am I kidding? I also go to the law library in my pajamas. Researching from home simply eliminates the questioning by library staff as to whether I’m actually a lawyer or a homeless person looking for a warm place during the winter months.

It’s not an inaccurate conclusion to draw. I have really old pajamas.

Come to think of it, now that I’m a shareholder, I have associates to do my legal research when necessary, so I suppose whether I have access to online legal resources is irrelevant.

That brings me to the next thing I’m grateful for; associates. Those poor souls have no idea what they’re in for when an assignment from me crosses their desks. I’m sure they roll their eyes and wish I would take myself and my pajamas to the law library and look for the answer myself. If they think those thoughts, they keep them to themselves. That’s yet another thing I’m grateful for.

Believe it or not, I’m also thankful for the judges and lawyers I work with. Much like my secretary and associates, they’re also subjected to my antics and never complain about the IV drip of coffee I usually have with me at any setting before noon. (The IV is changed to Diet Coke for the afternoon dockets.)

Even though things can get heated at times, I find most of my opponents and the judges I’m in front of are respectful and courteous to me, even though they most likely want to rip my head off from time to time…or maybe just rip the IV out of my arm.

For this lack of violence against me, I’m also grateful.

Perhaps this holiday season has made me a little more appreciative of the things and people in my life who make me so successful. Maybe that’s the whole point of the holidays. Or maybe the point is just to overindulge in baked goods, spend lots of money on gifts and take some time off from work to enjoy our families.

I’m good either way.

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Under Analysis is a nationally syndicated column of The Levison Group. Lisa Henderson-Newlin is a shareholder of the law firm McAnany Van Cleave and Phillips. She’s also contributing writer at NickMom.com and also writes a humor website at http://LisaNewlin.com. She’s also published in the anthology “You’ve Got Lipstick on Your Teeth.” Contact Lisa at lhenderson@mvplaw.com or contact Under Analysis by email at comments@levisongroup.com.

© 2013 Under Analysis L.L.C.