Fred Cavaiani
In two weeks it will be Christmas. Shopping for gifts and attending holiday gatherings become priorities in these remaining days before the big celebration. December has always seemed to be a month to prepare for Christmas. But what are we really preparing for?
Christmas and Chanukah seem to bring out the best in people. During these days people seem friendlier. Smiles and kind acts of compassion and caring toward others become almost normal throughout these two weeks. The world seems to become a gentler planet during these days.
Why can’t this happen throughout the whole year? The gentleness and kindness of people all over the world in the weeks before Christmas is always needed.
In preparing for Christmas we are really preparing ourselves to live a contented and meaningful life. When our hearts are open for giving kindness and love to others, we prepare ourselves to give and receive love. Preparing for Christmas is preparing the world to be a loving and compassionate place.
I may not be able to change the whole world but I can change the limited world around me by my acts of love and compassion. This means family and friends. During this holiday season I can increase my smiles, my warmth and my patience with others. I can prepare the world immediately around me to be more open and gentle by my acts of compassion and love toward my family and friends.
December preparations, holiday music, reflective silence, and gentle kindness create in us a sense of what the world needs most: love and compassion toward all. Most people will agree with this but often do not practice this concretely and consistently. Yet it seems to me that during these weeks we are given a glimpse that we can create a kind and compassionate world.
It starts with each of us. The consistent decisions we make to bring joy to others through gift giving, sending out Christmas cards and bringing a friendliness to holiday gatherings is what the world needs but often avoids. At this time of year we seem to overcome our prejudices, resentments and fears for a brief interlude and replace them with gifts, smiles and acts of kindness. Love and resentments cannot coexist. Smiling and snarling do not travel together. Compassion and condemnations are not roommates.
In these last two weeks before Christmas we let go of snarls and begin smiling. We let go of condemning and hold tightly to compassion.
The world needs us to prepare for Living a Loving Life with the same intensity as we prepare for Christmas.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at (248)362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com.
