Cooking with the Bands
Nick Roumel, Nacht Law
I had a chance online encounter tonight with the old musical group “Bread.” There was a time when they were kings of the sappy love song. “If,” “Make It With You,” “Diary,” and “Baby I’m-A-Want You” were among their hits, and whenever one of them puppies came on at the high school dance, the couples would sway dreamily, whispering the lyrics into each others’ shoulders.
Supposedly this band named themselves after getting stuck in traffic behind a Wonder Bread truck. Whatever the reason, they are part of a tasty shopping list of food-themed performers, including Hot Tuna, Vanilla Fudge, and Meatloaf. I won’t include the Spice Girls, whose members include “Scary,” “Sporty,” and “Posh” Spice. These are simply not things you would find in my spice cabinet. (Although, had they been named “Cumin,” “Coriander,” and “Curry,” they may have had a very different career trajectory.)
As Thanksgiving season is upon us, I wondered how many bands I could “stuff” into one recipe. This is the best I came up with.
Musical Turkey Stuffing
Recipe
Ingredients:
1 loaf of day old Bread, cut into 3/4-inch cubes (about 10-12 cups)
1 cup cooked Black Eyed Peas
1 cup each chopped onion, celery, and Korn kernels
6 Tbsp Cream-ery butter
1 Fiona Apple, peeled, cored, chopped
3/4 cup of dried Cranberries
1 cup finely chopped Blue Öyster Cult, or other oyster variety
1 cup to 2 cups Bowling for Soup stock
1/4 cup chopped fresh Peaches ‘n’ Herb (omit Peaches)
1/4 tsp. finely chopped Red Hot Chili Pepper (to taste)
Salt-N-Pepa (to taste)
Directions:
1. Saute the Bread cubes in half the Cream-ery butter until brown.
2. In a large Dutch oven, sauté chopped onions, celery and Korn on medium high heat with the remaining Cream-ery butter until cooked through, about 5-10 minutes. Add the Bread, Black Eyed Peas, Fiona Apple, Cranberries, Blue Öyster Cult, Herb, and one cup of Bowling for Soup stock, enough to keep the stuffing moist while you are cooking it. Add Red Hot Chili Pepper and Salt-N-Pepa.
3. Cover. Turn heat to low. Cook for an hour or until Fiona Apple is cooked through. Check every ten minutes or so and add more Bowling for Soup stock as needed while cooking to keep the stuffing moist and keep it from sticking to the bottom of the pan.
I believe this recipe would actually work, although it was last tested sometime in the 70s, while dancing in a basement decorated with posters and black lights. If it doesn’t, prepare to eat plenty of Humble Pie.
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Nick Roumel is a principal with Nacht, Roumel, Salvatore, Blanchard, and Walker PC, a litigation firm in Ann Arbor specializing in employment litigation. He also has many years of varied restaurant and catering experience, has taught Greek cooking classes, and writes a food/restaurant column for “Current” magazine in Ann Arbor. He can be reached at nroumel@yahoo.com. His blog is http://mayitpleasethepalate.blogspot.com/.
