MAY IT PLEASE THE PALATE: What's for breakfast?

I came upon a web page that breathlessly revealed, “Here’s What Real Healthy People Actually Eat for Breakfast” (buzzfeed.com).

I learned from the article that “breakfast is a very important meal!” So what, pray tell, are these real healthy people actually eating?

How about #1, baked egg in avocado?

Merely hollow out avocado shells, insert an egg with sliced garlic and tomatoes, and bake for 20-22 minutes in a 450 oven!

You can do your morning yoga routine while it’s baking.

Surprisingly, avocado is a recurring theme. #4 is eggs and avocado toast with blueberries; #12 avocado smoothie; #19 is an avocado and salmon omelette; #22 is avocado hummus toast; and #27 is egg, avocado and cheese toast.

There are a few dishes that shockingly omit avocado.

At #2 on the list is almond butter with salami on toast, which I’m sure is a childhood favorite on many planets outside our solar system.

Other such choices include #6, wild blueberry ginger smoothie bowl, #8 vanilla green protein smoothie, #15 kale smoothie bowl and that, diner staple, #20 homemade soup, with an optional side of hash browns.

The “real healthy people” who purport to eat these things carry titles like nutritionists, dieticians, trainers and food writers.

There is a “wellness coach” and a “healthy living blogger.”

One nutritionist specializes in “intuitive eating.” (His intuition recommends a PB&J for breakfast.)

Let me introduce another group into this discussion: “real people.”

They have to get three3 kids ready for three different schools, while readying themselves for early business meetings.

They might wish to start their day with almond milk and flaxseed pancakes but, even if they have the time, little Jason and Emily may not cooperate.

Another dirty little secret: the family may have breakfast in the car — or, heaven forbid — pick it up at a drive-thru on the morning commute.

Even real people without kids tend to eat much simpler breakfasts.

Typically, they are squeezing in a few more delicious moments of sleep before getting ready for their day, then fixing something quick and reasonably healthy on their way out the door — egg and toast, oatmeal, fruit.

Kid breakfasts are my favorite.

Who among us hasn’t loaded sugar cereal with even more sugar, reading the back of the box while spooning the cereal towards the general vicinity of their mouths?

Many people also have their own quirky family practices; ours was “toast and coffee” — half a cup of java, loaded with milk and sugar, for dunking and eating hot buttered toast — and then slurping the crumb-y remains.

These days, I’m an egg guy.

Fried on toast with butter, or with cheese (never both cheese and toast).

Some fruit mid-morning. Salad at lunch. So far so good, right?

Then all goes to hell starting with the happy hour martini, chips and guacamole, chicken wings and French fries, and a Dairy Queen Peanut Buster Parfait for a nightcap.

I guess I should be using my evenings not just to make dinner, but to pre-make a “real healthy” breakfast like the nutritional models in the Buzzfeed article.

Not to mention exercise, mow the lawn, tend the garden, maintain the house and write that brief that’s due tomorrow, all while working in some quality family time and maintaining my cat’s Facebook page.

Mornings are for fresh starts.

No matter what failures you’ve had the day before, each time the alarm goes off, life gives you a new opportunity.

So break out the avocado, flaxseed and kale.

Have daily resolutions and be a better person.

If you can make it past happy hour, you’re doing a lot better than I am!
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Nick Roumel is a principal with Nacht, Roumel, Salvatore, Blanchard, and Walker PC, a firm in Ann Arbor specializing in employment and civil right litigation.
He also has many years of varied restaurant and catering experience, has taught Greek cooking classes, and writes a food/restaurant column for “Current” magazine in Ann Arbor.
He occasionally updates his blog at http://mayitpleasethepalate.blogspot.com/.