By Spencer Farris
I have an unusual name. Not an unusual one that qualifies me for a spot on NPR - I am certain that those initials stand for "Name, Peculiar; Required" rather than National Public Radio. I don't know a single Kye or Garrison outside of the radio airwaves. Maybe my friend circle is just too small. In any event, I don't meet a lot of Spencers.
Back in Oklahoma, I never met another Spencer. My first name is now fairly common, thanks to several television characters. Farris was another uncommon name where I grew up. The only other Farrises I knew were kinfolk. If I had a nickel for everytime I heard "Farris Wheel" or "Farris Bueller" I would be retired on a beach somewhere. Which I am not, but you get the point.
You can imagine my surprise when I got an email a few weeks ago from Spencer Farris, the lawyer, offering condolences following the column on my Judge's death. No, Mr. Farris was not saddened by my writing, or at least he was kind enough not to say so if he was. He actually learned about my loss after a reader in Michigan sent a sympathy note to him instead of me. In the Michigan reader's defense, what are the chances of two Spencer Farrises in one profession? Evidently 100 percent. (Thanks to many of you for the condolences by the way. Your words were a comfort.)
Some names predispose one for a certain profession, and maybe unusual names are in that category. Learned Hand was a well respected judge. Who could argue with Learned's reasoning? Justice Frankfurter, on the other hand, probably became a judge just to make the teasing stop. Neither of them write letters to me.
Since I am already in the mail bag, Gentle Reader, today looks like a good time to answer a few notes from ya'll. The mail carrier has had a light load lately in the Levison Towers. Either the under analysis group is no longer controversial, or folks are just busy this summer. I choose to believe the latter.
What did you think of the Supreme Court opinion on gay marriage? I am embarrassed to confess that I didn't read it all. Luckily, I heard a lot about the opinion from a ton of legal experts. On Facebook. Supreme Court opinions lately are three parts law, one part commentary, occasionally vice versa. No appellate court has ever had a problem telling me no in a paragraph, but SCOTUS has their own strategy. I tend to read opinions like I read books- skip to the end and see how it goes from there.
Are you glad you became a lawyer? Most days I am. Like any middle-aged legal guy, I have been around long enough to see the practice change, and not all changes have been for the better. Insurance companies in the "easy to deal with" column have become difficult, and column of difficult insurance companies has moved toward less scorched earth litigation. The names in both columns swap without notice. In other words, the cycle continues as it always has. The only constant is that lawyers I have had cases against since my practice began have almost all mellowed out. Or maybe I have.
The scarier question is what I would have done if I hadn't become a lawyer. As a country boy from a small town, I didn't know of any other profession that was suitable for my talents. If I had a time machine, I would likely stop it at the TV weatherman school instead of the law school stop. There is a new reality show to be America's next weatherman, and I am more than a little sad that I didn't get an application.
Do you have a prediction for the next legal technology breakthrough? In most places where I practice, electronic filing is now the norm rather than the exception. Last minute runs to the courthouse have been replaced by filing from one's desk, often well after the courts and opponent's offices have closed. No one predicted this ten years ago. Some courts are still slow to catch up, requiring legal filings on three and a half inch disks.
Chief Keef, an entertainer, recently tried to do a concert in Chicago by hologram. Outstanding arrest warrants made an in person appearance, well, inconvenient. The mayor ruled that Mr. Keef's virtual appearance was not allowed. I don't know how you ban a hologram, but in Chicago dead people vote and live ones can't play a concert as a hologram. Nevertheless, if Chief Keef has the technology, lawyers can too. I predict Holograms for Lawyers will be here soon. Clients will love not getting billed for travel. Lawyers will love not looking for parking, or taking off shoes for security checks. You heard it here first.
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Under analysis is a nationally syndicated column of the Levison Group. Spencer Farris is the founding partner of The S.E. Farris Law Firm in St Louis, Missouri. Any similarity to other Spencer Farrises, living or dead, is regrettable. Comments or criticisms about this column may be sent c/o this newspaper or directly to the Levison Group via email at farris@farrislaw.net.
© 2015 Under Analysis L.L.C.
Published: Fri, Aug 07, 2015
