Fred Cavaiani
This week we celebrate Christmas. It is a celebration for Christians of the Prince of Peace. People attend church. Families come together. Gifts are exchanged among families and friends. Christmas parties have been happening for the past two weeks and will increase even more in this final week. My wife and I just attended two wonderful Christmas parties last Friday and Sunday. Good friends, new friends and old friends came together to celebrate a Christmas connection. Smiles, laughter and joyous remembering were so refreshingly present. Good friends, children and grandchildren were all present in a joyous and uplifting celebration. I have been good friends with some of the people present since I was fourteen years old. That is a few years back. Other friends we have known for a few years. Love and Joy was in the air.
Why do we celebrate Christmas? What is the purpose of Christmas celebrations? I think the message of love and peace was the message of the founder of Christianity. So as we celebrate the birth of this founder of a movement of love and peace, Jesus Christ, we come to celebrate love and peace.
In studying other religions, the message of love and peace is almost always present when a person reads the theology of these religions. It is the deepest desire imbedded in every human being and it starts from the moment of birth. Love becomes powerfully present when a mother and father first see their baby. The purpose of life is to deepen this love and this sense of peace both for the child and for the parents. The purpose of any religion is to deepen this awesome and powerful presence of love and peace.
Yet in the name of the Prince of Peace it is so easy to condone war, hatred, be controlled by fear and forget that peace comes through loving one another.
In the name of news and public information we read about tragedies of crime and terrorism which are minimal in comparison to all the good that is done every day which we never hear about. It is easy to have a negative attitude about life and become absorbed in fear and worry. I wish there was a television station and a radio station that would only talk about the good things that happen in life because they really far outweigh the negative things that happen. We are becoming a culture and a nation obsessed with fear and negativity.
Since 2001 about 6500 hundred people have been killed through terror attacks. About 380,000 people have been killed by Americans killing one another with guns. Yet we focus on the fear of terror attacks when it is more likely that someone could be killed by someone shooting you with a gun accidentally or committing a crime. We magnify the problems in life and have the attitude that the solutions will come from showing greater strength and using more weapons of destruction.
The point of all of this is that the more we become preoccupied with evil the less we are focused on what brings peace to a world. For centuries there is so much evidence that positive actions of compassion and kindness are what permanently bring peace to a community and a nation.
Think of someone who has positively affected your life by performing a kind and compassionate action toward you. What feeling did it stimulate within you? How did this affect your life? When you think of the warmth and kindness that someone has given you, what happens to you? The old saying of “pay it forward” is so accurate. Have you ever had someone open a door for you going into a building and all of a sudden you opened the next door for that person? This is what peace is all about. Actions of love, kindness and peace should be proclaimed on the mountain tops all day or in modern terms, it should be proclaimed on every news network and television station throughout the day. But if there is a crime that is newsworthy it gets headlines for days. If there is a kind and loving action that is newsworthy it gets very little air time.
On this week leading up to celebrating the Prince of Peace, make a resolution, whatever your religion, theology or philosophy of life may be, that you will be a peacemaker by your kind acts of love and affirmation toward everyone. If only our politicians realized this and practiced this in their words and actions. But so what if they don’t. Let it happen that you and I will practice this starting this week. We all know and realize that power of weapons and destruction never brings peace. It only sets up the foundation for the next war. This has been proven true for centuries. But love and kindness sets up the foundation for positive feelings and warm connections. Study history. Study the lives of holy men and women. Remember the people who powerfully and positively influenced your life. These were people of love, kindness, compassion, and AFFIRMATION. This is what Christianity is all about. It is what any positive movement, philosophy and theology is all about. Please don’t let anyone take this attitude away from you. Merry Christmas everyone! Happy Holidays everyone! Embrace everyone with love. Find the goodness in all your friends. Find the goodness that is present in everyone. Let us all lay down our weapons of negativity, resentments and criticism and pick up the gifts of love and kindness and affirmation and give these gifts to the whole world. Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with you.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com.
