Fred Cavaiani
The country is in turmoil. It is not necessary. Donald Trump can only criticize. Hillary Clinton does the same. Never before in my lifetime have I ever seen candidates personally denigrate each other so much. It makes no difference who started it. Please tell me something positive. Why spend energy downgrading the other candidate? Where is the energy spent in positively showing and explaining how you will help this country without condemning the opposing candidate or the opposite party? Investment in negativity contaminates a culture and a country. It becomes a poison that seeps into the minds and hearts of the citizens. This never helps anyone.
I just had lunch with two old friends last Monday. We have known each other for years. One is a judge and the other is a retired attorney. Our conversations were positive, caring, spiritual, uplifting and humorous. It was a delight to be with them. I felt inspired and energized after this luncheon.
Maybe life can always be this way if I take the time to always be loving and affirming of others. Maybe our conversations in life should be what we want to do to make the world a better place. Maybe bemoaning all the problems of the world is not the best way to solve problems. Life is really very simple if we bring a positive attitude and a loving heart to every human encounter.
These two friends of mine both have adult children as do my wife and I. We were sharing how our adult kids are doing. All are doing very well though all have had struggles in life to overcome. As I thought about it, I realized that these two very loving and kind men had instilled this attitude into their children and I think I did also. When love is the basis of personality growth, everything in life will work together for goodness. Pain and struggles will come. It is part of life. But with a foundation of love and with an experience of being surrounded by love and affirmation, good and positive things will happen and good and positive thoughts will take over.
I have always been amazed watching how my wife enters into the multi-detailed stories of our children and grandchildren. Her patience to be with each person as they give the details of their life makes me realize how she is patiently and lovingly listening to each person without trying to fix them, solve their problems or judge them. She is just with them. Even if the details seem to take so much time to finish, she stays with everyone in their story. It always amazes me. But I realize that this is LOVE. Not everything has to be a problem to be solved. Maybe we all need good and positive companions on the journey through life.
Hilary Clinton or Donald Trump is not the solution to our nation’s problems and difficulties. But kindness, patience, love and affirmation will give us all a clear picture of how to make the world a better and healthier planet. When a foundation of love and acceptance and encouragement is firmly in place, it becomes easy to find solutions to difficulties and struggles. When I listen with interest to those who see things differently than I do I make a friend or at least I don’t make an enemy and a rapport can be built between us.
Trust comes from affirmation and genuine love and compassion for another person. My understanding of God is that this person, power or energy is always pouring love into us. We are always loved by God. It is too bad that this powerful principle of life is not ingrained into the heart, mind and soul of every person on this planet. But if I pour this love into everyone I know and everyone I meet, I will be establishing a positive attitude and grateful heart into everyone I meet and experience this day. This sense of being loved causes people to love more and be more hopeful and optimistic. Have a great day everyone. I love you and wish you the best. You are good and have such positive qualities. Bring this to others this day by your loving words, actions and affirmations. Pour positive energy into the world. Let go of anything negative. When was the last time being negative made you happy? “What the world needs now is love, sweet love.” It is what we all need most. Let’s bring this love, sweet love to everyone this day. You will be surprised at just how positive people can perceive things when they feel loved. Having lunch with two kind and positive people can have a powerful effect on a person.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@ yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com.
