Fred Cavaiani
The election is over. Many are shocked. Donald Trump will be our new president. His victory surprised both his own party and the other party. How did he win? What happened?
This election victory should be a reminder to both Republicans and Democrats and the whole country that when the heart is neglected it can be difficult to inspire people. Life is built on emotions or feelings. If someone neglects empathizing with my feelings it can be difficult to be inspired.
I think what happened in this election is that Donald Trump talked more to the heart of people than did Hillary Clinton. Like him or hate him, Donald Trump spoke to the negative feelings inside of everyone that we might never want to admit we have. Hillary Clinton didn’t speak to the positive feelings that everyone has but that we may find difficult to admit or even be aware of.
It is about time to realize that most people do not like abortion. Clinton ignored this and did not speak with much compassion for so many people who consider abortion to be wrong. If she had done this she would have won the election. Donald Trump did speak to this in an empathic manner. He also spoke clearly and emotionally to the dark side in each of us. This made people ignore his glaring deficiencies because he identified some things that everyone feels but knows that these feelings can never be expressed. Hillary Clinton didn’t speak to the positive side of most people. She spoke to the logical side but not to the heart of people.
Qualified though she is and may have been a great president, she neglected sharing her heart and neglected touching the hearts of most people. Most people also have some form of belief in God. Clinton didn’t touch this in any positive emotional manner. She needed to show a deeply positive and emotional appreciation of life and of God. She needed to touch the positive aspects of human life in an emotionally positive manner.
Her lack of doing this allowed Donald Trump to make the negative emotional aspects of human nature seem more attractive.
Donald Trump won the election because his identifying the negative part of human hearts seemed more genuine that Hillary Clinton’s weak attempt to identify the positive side of everyone’s hearts.
The campaigns were spent on bemoaning the faults of the other person. It was perhaps one of the most negative campaigns in the history of politics. The more time you spend on demeaning others the less time you spend on touching the positive parts of the human heart. Trump was an expert in demeaning others. He seemed filled with negative emotion whenever he spoke. Yet there was still emotion there. Hillary Clinton was not good at inspiring positive emotion and her emphasis on negative emotion didn’t seem real. How sad it is to see someone elected because they were so good at expressing negative feelings. Yet this at least seemed real to many people.
What can we all learn from this?
Positive feelings will always overcome negative feelings. But positive feelings must be an overflow of the positive and emotional goodness in a person’s heart. Barack Obama and Ronald Reagan both did this in a powerfully inspiring manner. So did John F. Kennedy. Martin Luther King Jr did the same thing. Ghandi also did this. Teddy Roosevelt did this also. Barbara Bush did the same thing and so did Eleanor Roosevelt. But when there is an absence of a leader touching the positive elements of the human heart, then a leader who can touch the negative elements of the human heart will seem attractive because emotions have been touched.
The genius of Donald Trump is that I think he realized this. He would consistently get emotional reactions from the press, other candidates, and the country. One thing about Donald Trump is that you can’t ignore him. He might not be likeable, but you can’t ignore his personality. As a result everyone is constantly paying attention to him and every word he says. So when he does say something positive people will pay attention because he has gotten everyone’s attention by all the negative things he has said over the years and negative things he may have done.
Believe it or not, there is wisdom in this. The negative will overcome the positive when the positive is weak and theoretical. Mother Teresa became a celebrity because her life was always positive regardless of the obstacles. Pope Francis became a positive celebrity because of his positive attitudes. Pope John XXIII did the same thing. These are people who spoke lovingly from the heart. They touched the goodness in the hearts of women and men.
Look over your personal life. Who are the people you like to be around? Usually it will be someone who speaks to the positive goodness in your heart with an understanding and an affirming attitude toward you. Yet when you are hurting and there is no one around to see the goodness inside of you and affirm you, you will find yourself attracted to someone who identifies your frustrations and failures and disappointment. You will be attracted to their bluntness and calloused judgments and even though you might realize that there is little objectivity to what they are saying, you can experience that you have felt this way at times.
We need positive and loving leaders who touch our hearts. To find people like this we need to become positive and loving leaders in our own personal life. We need to become emotionally affirming, spiritually profound with open hearts and minds to those who see things differently. We need quiet time to deepen our relationship with God. We need to make the effort to be emotionally affirming and positive.
This election has taught us so much. We will be all right. The more positive we become the more we weaken the negativity of others. Become positive. Look for goodness. Bring goodness to everyone. This will then weaken the negativity you may witness around you. Both political parties need to understand this. But if they don’t get it, you get it and keep going forward in a positive, loving manner. It is the road all of us must walk if we want inner peace and joy in our own personal life. When we walk this road, we make our country a better place to live. So be positive, be caring and be loving. And we will overcome together. Make congress and the president be better by your positive and affirming attitude. Then whatever is negative will be overcome.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@ yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com.
