Fred Cavaiani
In the word listen is contained the word silent. To listen to someone else I must first become silent. Silence can be difficult. The mind seems to be racing rapidly. The need to be in control is a mind malady. When does the mind get a chance to rest? When has been your last peaceful moment? How often do we feel stress free?
The solution to a stress free existence is not difficult. To put the solution into practice demands putting certain priorities into concrete actions. It means making a determination to attentively listen to other people. It also means reserving quiet time each day to meditate. This is called listening to God. Whomever God is for you is discovered deeper when you take quiet time to meditate. A good half hour a day is an excellent discipline. First start with ten minutes.
When is the last time you listened carefully to someone else without judgment? To listen only to understand can be an emotional and spiritual high. My work as a psychologist and marriage counselor is to listen to people throughout the day. It is most energizing. But if I listen only to respond I will take the attention off the listening and put the energy into what I think I should say. This is draining and counterproductive. Only through careful listening will I be able to say the correct thing. Listening carefully is to put our egos aside and totally be open and receptive to someone else. This is also called meditation. When I am totally quiet and open to God in meditation I receive so much. My ego gets out of the way and I can become receptive to God’s nudges and inspirations.
The difficulty in listening is the insight that will come to us about ourselves. In listening I discover more about myself. In quiet meditation I learn about myself. Both listening to others and listening to God cause us to open up to deeper parts of our self. What has been pushed away can start surfacing. My emotional wounds will surface. My happy feelings that have been forgotten will also surface. It is important for each of us to feel whatever pain or joy has been pushed down. People who can’t listen are afraid of themselves. When we don’t take time to be quiet with God we avoid living on a deeper level.
The rush to get things done can be so distracting from living a full life. Busyness and obsessing about what must be done next puts us in an emotional prison. Running from our feelings also imprisons us from living life with freedom and openness.
Become an internal quiet and gentle person. Take that quiet time each day to be alone with God in silence and reflection. Listen carefully to the next person you encounter and look that person in the eye with empathy and compassion.
Listen carefully with empathy and compassion. This brings us into an atmosphere of wisdom and peace. Becoming quiet with your God helps you to become receptive to Wisdom, Energy and Peace.
We live in a world of technology. This technology is helpful. But technology also can keep us in our brains and avoid our hearts. To listen to another person and to listen to God keeps us in our hearts. It brings us into the world of experiencing life and experiencing God. Life is not meant to be lived only in our heads. We are not geared to just be walking intellects. We feel. We cry. We laugh. We love. We hurt. All these feelings propel us to live life on a deeper and more personal level.
So be quiet and listen and you will become fully alive. Become free and deeply emotional and spiritual by listening to your God, and listening to others. It will be a life worth living.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@ yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com.
