By Carol Parker Thompson, Ph.D.
The Issue of Trust: Part I
After witnessing a minor traffic accident recently, my thoughts turned to the many ways in which we either intuitively or purposefully demonstrate trust.
While waiting for the traffic to clear, it occurred to me that I place my trust in drivers probably more than most of us should. I assume that the person driving beside me or coming toward me will remain in his or her lane and not crowd me.
If a turn signal is in operation, I have faith that the driver will actually turn in the direction of the signal. If the approaching light turns green in my favor, I count on the drivers to my right or left stopping and waiting their turn.
Obviously, that was not the case in this accident. There may be many cases of misplaced and unwarranted trust in drivers on streets and highways. The lesson to be learned here is to be ever alert when one is behind the wheel, and as a driver be mindful of the rules of the road.
Behaving in a trustworthy manner can apply to just about any situation, not just behind the wheel. Think about the extent to which we trust our government, our politicians, our organizations, our institutions, the media, our friends or partners. Is there a relationship of trust established, and to what extent is it a mutually healthy one?
Think about the confidence we place in our plumber who will provide the correct part to fix our leak, our newspaper delivery person who will place the local newspaper in the mail slot several times a week, and other service people who make our lives easier, safer and more comfortable. We depend on them and expect them to act in a timely and responsible manner.
What is trust? Trust is based on the assumption that other people can be relied upon. “Trust is a psychological state comprising the intention to accept vulnerability based on positive expectations of the intentions or behavior of another” (Rousseau).
Consider some quotes about the role of trust in one’s life:
—“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it.” Warren Buffet.
—“The people when rightly and fully trusted will return the trust.” Abraham Lincoln.
—“We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible. To have real conversations with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk.” Thomas Moore
—“The glue that holds all relationships together—including the relationship between the leader and the led—is trust, and trust is based on integrity.” Brian Tracy
—“When people honor each other, there is a trust established that leads to synergy, interdependence, and deep respect. Both parties make decisions and choices based on what is right, what is best, what is valued most highly.” Blaine Lee.
The need for trust comes from our interdependence with others. We are born as trusting little beings. Neuroscientific research demonstrates that our brains are hard-wired to trust others. As we grow and mature, we depend on others to teach us values and help us achieve our goals, or at least not impede them.
We develop trust by association with institutions and with people. Our level of trust or mistrust grows in sequential stages as an emotional bond develops between the trustor and the trustee. Trust occurs because of the perception of trustworthy behavior and behavioral consistency. Do they do what they say they are going to do, and is it in our best interest? Do they keep their promises?
If we are to trust and establish a future relationship, we need to have a sense that the government, institution, friend or partner share our beliefs, values, and goals. We need to know that they adhere to principles that are acceptable to us such as dignity, honesty, fairness, and consistency.
Their motives are of concern also. We need to know that those who are to be trusted are sufficiently concerned about our welfare to advance our interests. In order to trust, we need to know that our civic and institutional leaders are working for us, and those in personal relationships are working with us.
Trusting has it hazards, however. As we develop trust, our vulnerability increases proportionate to the strength and resiliency of the relationship. If the trust we place in institutions or individuals is violated, the initial reaction may be disbelief followed by frustration, disappointment, anger and withdrawal. Trust may be seriously damaged or totally destroyed if there is a clear pattern of violations.
At this point, can the relationship be mended?
Part II of THE ISSUE OF TRUST will explore issues in rebuilding trust.
Contact Dr. Thompson at caroltmcc@comcast.net.
