Estranged boyfriend killed woman not long after she broke off relationship
By Kyle Stucker
Foster’s Daily Democrat
BERWICK, Maine (AP) — In the 15 years since their 17-year-old daughter Treasure Genaw was murdered, Brad and Sandra Genaw say they’ve taken comfort in how awareness and resources for domestic and sexual violence have improved.
At the same time, though, they say significant progress still needs to be made so no one suffers or dies in silence like Treasure did in 2004, 12 weeks pregnant and just days before both her Noble High School graduation and 18th birthday.
They say reliving and re-sharing their pain yet again is worth it if they can raise local awareness, particularly at a time in which society is more cognizant of domestic and sexual violence due to international movements like #metoo.
“Women and girls speak up more than they used to, but they just need to be more aware and recognize some signs and be educated on the signs of abuse and anger,” said Sandra.
Treasure would have turned 33 Tuesday, June 18, had her estranged boyfriend not killed her in Somersworth on June 7, 2004, as part of a brutal murder that drew national media attention.
Anthony O’Leary is serving life without parole for his crime, while the Genaw family continues to feel a lifetime of pain while trying to honor Treasure’s memory, “vibrant” personality, humor and love for helping people. By partnering with Jaden’s Ladder, a Seacoast nonprofit program founded by Oneta Bobbett, they’ve helped a number of women pursue the nursing career Treasure was striving toward, in addition to empowering survivors in other ways.
Brad said partnering with Jaden’s Ladder in 2011 and creating a scholarship in Treasure’s memory helped them find closure, peace and relief after six difficult years of grief. As has the advocacy of family members like Treasure’s sister Liz, who has spoken in local schools and leads prevention efforts through her work with Child Care Aware of New Hampshire.
“I wouldn’t wish what happened to Treasure or our family on my worst enemy, if I had an enemy,” Brad said. “It’s just horrendous. Horrendous. I can say one thing about all of it, and that is we know for a fact that dozens upon dozens of people, after they went to the funeral ... they came off the fence. They went back to church. The fathers treated their kids a lot different. The mothers treated their kids a lot different. They became a lot more vigilant. It became a really big deal in the Seacoast area back in the day.”
O’Leary murdered Treasure not long after Treasure had broken off their relationship. That’s an unfortunate and all-too-common reality, according to Madison Lightfoot of the New Hampshire Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence. She said statistics show approximately 75% of female homicide victims are killed while either trying to leave an abuser or shortly after they leave, making it the most dangerous time for victims of abuse.
It’s one of the many reasons, Lightfoot said, that expanding access to resources and increasing prevention efforts are imperative. Particularly when paired with statistics that indicate the state’s crisis centers served a combined total of more than 15,000 adult and child victims of sexual, domestic and dating violence last year, and the fact 1 in 4 New Hampshire women have been sexually assaulted. Additional statistics can be found on the coalition’s website at nhcadsv.org/statistics-and-research.
“We all have a role to play in keeping our community safe and shining a light on the dangerous realities of domestic and sexual violence,” Lightfoot said. “We encourage all Granite Staters to reach out to local crisis centers to see how they play a role or educate themselves on the red flags to look out for.”
The Genaws said they wish they would’ve recognized some of the red flags in Treasure’s relationship, but their strong faith helped them avoid being consumed by that, in addition to allowing them to forgive O’Leary.
“Of course we’ve kicked ourselves more than a few times, but we decided very early on we’re not going to do the ‘If I coulda, if I woulda, if I shoulda’ because what do you do?” Brad said. “You feel the guilt and it’s gonna carry with you all your life and we let that go. We let it go right away so we could go forward right away. And the forgiveness thing? That was the toughest thing.”
Crystalline Verrill, 32, a Dover resident and Treasure’s cousin, said she experienced survivor’s guilt when she was younger. She hopes to channel the pain of her cousin’s death as well as her own experiences as a victim of domestic violence into a positive force for change in the Seacoast.
Verrill said she wants to do that because she’s seen firsthand the impact that breaking the silence, or not breaking the silence, surrounding domestic violence can make.
“I learned I can’t be silent anymore,” said Verrill, who would like to publish a book and assist local outreach and prevention efforts, particularly in local schools. “You can’t do it by yourself. You have to reach out.
“I really think that (Treasure) saved my life. I want to share my story and speak up because silence, that is what is going to be what kills us.”
Lightfoot said the coalition and other domestic and sexual violence advocates are proud to support and stand alongside victims who want to share their stories because she said those stories have created a strong, statewide dialogue on the subject.
“When survivors find the courage to come forward and share their story, they encourage others to do the same,” she said. “They really forge the path to creating change, toward creating safer, more respectful systems in communities.”
One place that’s been apparent has been in schools that participate in the coalition’s Granite State Respect Week during Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month every February. This year’s installment of Granite State Respect Week provided education and resources to 35,000 students at more than 50 high schools and middle schools, and they look for growth and additional progress every year.
“We have to give young people the tools to recognize unhealthy behaviors and when and where to reach out for support,” Lightfoot said. “The more we can more can empower youth and teens, the more successful we can be in (breaking the cycle of abuse).”
