Not burning out while staying in: A survival guide

Vicki L. Shemin, BridgeTower Media Newswires

Most of us have compartmentalized well our work/family life so that when we leave the office, well, we have left the office.

Fast forward to stay-at-home orders.

In order to carry on with our work lives, the boundaries have blurred — literally — as many of us find that our computers and printers are set up on the kitchen/dining room table or in our bedrooms.

Harkening back to the days of college dorm living, there is that pervasive sense of guilt and burden: I could be working longer instead of watching Netflix after dinner; I shouldn’t go to bed yet because I could probably work for another hour or two.

In order not to extinguish our mojo flame, here are my top 10 survival tips:

Gratitude

Ask not what has been taken from you, but reflect on what you have to be grateful for as you start each day. Enough said.

Routine, ritual, repeat

Establish new routines to offset the new normal. For me, I have inverted my usual routine (which was — TMI — showering in the morning to be fresh to start the day); now, once my work for the day is complete, I shower to psychologically and physically demarcate the clear boundary between ending the work day and beginning the evening.

Conversely, mark the beginning of your work day by getting out of your pajamas and actually getting dressed in garb you would wear outside.

I don’t watch television during the day while I work (well, OK, except for the news during my lunch break).

Dress for success

For Zoom meetings, it’s an occasion to do something different than jeans and a T-shirt! I don earrings, choose an outfit I would wear to the office, and apply some makeup in an attempt to recapture looking professional while sitting at the dining room table.

Recreate business optics and atmosphere

To offset the gathering around the proverbial water cooler and all the other casual interactions of the day with your colleagues, make an effort every day to interact with them just as you would if you were walking down to their offices.

To make it more personal, use FaceTime or Zoom in an effort to replicate the real deal. And to make it more fun still, choose a Zoom wallpaper that is creative and fanciful.

Minimize distractions

When I taught graduate school and my students were nervous about preparing for post-graduate job interviews, I told them to take stock of what the interviewer had in his/her office and to make particular note of what was on the individual’s desk. This is a bird’s eye view into what is meaningful to that person: out of the universe of possible things he or she could have chosen, these made the cut. I shared with my students my tip that, right out of the gate, this was a great way to bond with the interviewer.

How does this apply to the new normal? When I left work knowing I would not be back for weeks, I scooped up the photos that were most important to me, my iconic mouse pad, and special coffee mug. Now, when I sit down at my “desk” in the dining room each day, there is a soothing integrative blend between the old and new normal.

Reward and punishment

The American psychologist B.F. Skinner got it right when he described operant conditioning.

Operant conditioning is a psychological construct that uses either reinforcement or punishment to increase or decrease a behavior. The theory is that through this methodology, an association is formed between the behavior and the consequences for that behavior.

Theory aside, how can you operationalize that fancy term? Think of how you can reasonably reward yourself every day. From the sublime to the somewhat ridiculous (but no less rewarding), I have a bowl of chocolate kisses on the dining room table and if, and only if, I get through drafting a particularly challenging agreement, I get to indulge!

Mindful and purposeful connection

You have to build in ways to laugh, have fun, and simply connect with those who uplift and inspire you each day. I formed a weekly “(Un)Happy Hour” that meets Thursdays at 5 p.m. via Zoom. It is heartening and restorative, and it’s great to have anticipatory connectivity.

Planning virtual movie nights and book chats are in the works.

Challenge yourself

Once I realized we were sheltering-in-place for the long haul, I thought about how I could challenge myself by doing something I have long wanted to tackle (but convinced myself was beyond my pay grade or that I did not have time to do).

For me, it was learning to knit socks using double-pointed needles. A colleague is working her way through a 500-piece puzzle. Another friend is reading her way through the classics. I even took on another daunting challenge: at long last, dealing with Comcast billing, which I have been putting off for the past three months.

Stay disciplined and focused

Just because the kitchen is only a few feet away should not give us blanket permission to rummage through the refrigerator and cabinets every 15 minutes.

Discipline yourself to be task-oriented. Start with the project that least appeals to you and get through that.  But if you have not completed as much as you set out to do for that day, don’t work on it into the night.
Step away from the computer with the full knowledge that the task will be waiting for you in the morning.

Gratitude

This is not a typo. This is my prescription for how to start and end each day.

If you need some inspiration, I highly recommend Viktor Frankl’s book entitled “Man’s Search for Meaning.” It surely puts life into perspective during this time of historical consciousness — and it is guaranteed to draw out your inner gratitude.

It seems altogether fitting to end with one of his tenets: “No matter the circumstance, you always have the last of the human freedoms: to choose your attitude.”

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Vicki L. Shemin, a divorce lawyer and clinical social worker, is a partner at Fields & Dennis in Wellesley. She can be contacted at vshemin@fdcattorneys.com.