This COVID-19 isolation is difficult. I want to visit my kids and grandchildren. I want to go to a restaurant with my family. I miss having dinner with my friends. I want to stop at a coffee shop with a friend, have a donut and meaningful conversation. I would like to see the faces of people and not be scared that I might get COVID-19 from someone or I might give someone COVID-19. Each moment can become tense and lonely. I need a distraction. In warm weather we would go for walks and rides. In the winter rides don't seem like the best idea. This pandemic is getting tiresome.
For years I have taken time for meditation and prayer. I realize the importance of embracing my feelings, painful, joyful, sad, happy, lonely. Whatever the feelings might be, I realize how important it is to go deeper with embracing my feelings.
As I finish this 11th month of pandemic slowing down and pandemic isolation, I realize something. I must go even slower in life and totally experience this present moment. It is in this present moment that I will find meaning and peace. I am fortunate to keep talking with people because of modern technology like Zoom and Telehealth. I will probably continue this which has been a tremendous experience for others and for myself. It has brought new depth and meaning into my life on a daily basis. But I must remember to simply live in this present moment with a total awareness and a total embrace.
COVID 19 has caused much tension. But it has also helped me to realize the absolute necessity of finding meaning in the present moment. Even as I write this article, I experience myself as slowing down and looking at everything and everyone in a receptive and reflective manner.
I must not rush to the next moment. I do not need to live in the past moment. No one has to change for me to be happy. I do not have to fix the world. It is in slowing down in this present moment that my tension begins to go away and I experience God in a deeper manner. Life is about a deeper immersion in this present moment. During these past 11 months, I am understanding how to live in this present moment.
I must remain focused only on this moment and I will slow down and find peace. My life has been spent on focusing intently on listening to other people. It slows down the other person and it slows me down. But when I am not doing this, I must also slow down by being attentive in a slow and reflective manner to whatever is present in front of me and around me.
Life is always about this present moment. 11 months of being sheltered in has helped me to understand the profoundness of this present moment. It has been where I have experienced God in deeper manner and it is where I have discovered how to be calmer and more alive in experiencing the meaning of life. So simple yet so difficult to realize. I am getting better at realizing how to deal with the tension of the present moment. The tension results from not embracing this moment. As I embrace this moment, life becomes meaningful and peaceful. My focus will be on the NOW. My focus will not be on the past or the future but simply to experience what is happening right now. Past moments of joy and sorrow will surface in the NOW and I need to embrace those feelings but I do not have to embrace how the past should have been. And I do not have to invest energy in how the next moment must be. I simply need to invest my energy in experiencing this moment because it is where I experience calmness, God and Love. And the tension leaves.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage & family therapist and limited licensed psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Michigan. Cavaiani is associate editor and contributing writer for Human Development Magazine. His column in the Legal News on Tuesdays. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is FredsCounselorsCorner.com.
