Fred Cavaiani
Christmas is almost here. Each year the theme of care and compassion for others becomes stronger in this month of December. It is a time of compassionate awareness. Christmas is more than gift giving. It is a time to realize that we are all brothers and sisters on this planet earth. The theme of Christmas, love and compassion for others is not simply a Christian tradition. It is present In Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, and in every organized religion that professes a belief in God. At this time of the year the theme of giving to others becomes powerfully present. My wife is the supreme gift giver and becomes aware of what everyone in our family might like. She then spends hours searching for the right gift for each person. All of this is based on her love for each person and a desire to have every person feel special.
Everyone needs to feel loved. In this time of a COVID epidemic, compassion is so important. When I reach out to others in love, I discover an inner peace. When I become angry and critical, I block love. I can neither give love or receive love when I am angry and critical.
The Christmas season should be a time to look within myself and discover how to be more compassionate and loving toward other people. It might be a phone call, a card, a text, a visit. In this time of COVID it will also mean doing the proper actions to not expose anyone else to COVID. It means vaccinations, tests, and when necessary, wearing a mask.
When I put love and compassion as a priority, life will always be better for others and for myself. Christmas reminds us of the absolute importance of bringing more love into the world.
Compassion for someone else cuts through their defenses. It brings out the best in other people. As I was leaving a store yesterday I noticed a young employee with his mask half on. I was internally becoming judgmental toward him. As I was leaving, I was going out the wrong door. He politely told me it was the wrong door. Then I started going out another door which was really the entrance door. He kindly helped me find the right door and opened both doors for me. I quickly let go of my judgmental attitude because of his gentle kindness toward me. Love and compassion are so disarming.
This last week before Christmas love seems to be expressed in so many different ways on television. Many commercials become connected with loving actions. Many programs express compassion and kindness. When I focus on showing kindness to others, my whole psychological system begins to relax and becomes positively energized. My defenses begin to drop and I become open to a deeper version of life. This deeper version often becomes an experience of God. I am convinced that this last week and a half of December can prepare and motivate us to bring more love and compassion into the world.
Every time I show compassion and love toward someone else, I become a better person. I leave the world of negativity and enter the world of positivity. I depart from the world of criticism and enter the world of affirmation. It is almost impossible to be kind and negative at the same time.
The journey of this Christmas is to help each of us begin a journey of compassion and love toward others in 2022.
Merry Christmas everyone and happy new year.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com.
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