Berl Falbaum
Come on, everyone. I will grant that the January 6 Select Committee hearings are important as is overturning Roe v. Wade, but I am beside myself that another “bombshell” is being ignored.
Sure, I thought so. You don’t know what I am talking about. Shame on you!
So, I will help you. Republican Texas Senator Ted Cruz is upset with Elmo. Yes, that Elmo. You know the one on “Sesame Street.” Why? He got vaccinated!
Here is how that controversy started. Elmo’s father, Louie, after researching the issue, told his son on the show:
“You were super-duper today, getting your COVID vaccine, Elmo.”
The red, furry Elmo, who is 3-1/2 years old, replied, “There was a little pinch, but it was OK.”
This infuriated the senator from Texas, prompting him to tweet:
“Thanks sesame street for saying parents are allowed to have questions! You then have Elmo aggressively advocate for vaccinating children UNDER 5. But you cite ZERO scientific evidence for this.”
This is the second time Cruz blew his stack about “Sesame Street,” the longest-running children’s show in the U.S. Previously, Cruz called a pro-vaccination tweet from Big Bird, “propaganda.”
After reading the news coverage about Cruz’s Elmophobia and that this really happened, being enterprising journalists, we had to dig deep into this story. We called Elmo first.
“I am really upset,” he told us. “I never said a bad word about Trump. I did not vote for Biden nor did I talk to Dr. Fauci. Not only did Senator Cruz not like that I was vaccinated, but because my voice was muffled on the phone, he thought I was wearing a mask.”
“The senator called you?”
“Yes, several times. He wanted an explanation and threatened to have me testify before Congress. I am so scared. I’ll have to get a lawyer but they cost a lot of money.
“The Cookie Monster said he would help me for nothing but a package of Oreos.” Then Elmo added:
“I think someone here has been giving him information on my vaccination.”
“You believe you have a stool pigeon, a mole, on the show?”
“I hate to say it, but yes. I think Big Bird did not want to be the only one attacked by the senator and told him there were others on the show who had the shot. And then I told the Senator that Big Bird sometimes wears a mask.”
This led us to Big Bird who was less than cooperative.
“I really have no comment. I was told it’s better if I don’t say anything.”
“Who advised you on this? Senator Cruz?”
“I would rather not say.”
“Will this affect the show and your relationship with Elmo?”
“Like I said, ‘no comment.’”
Finally, we reached out to Senator Cruz who agreed to an interview but demanded that his attorney be permitted to participate.
“My major point is,” said Cruz, “Elmo’s father said that vaccines protect children under 5 but he had no evidence.”
We asked: “Is that like saying the election was stolen without providing any evidence?”
Cruz’s attorney interrupted: “This interview is supposed to be restricted to Elmo, nothing but Elmo and only Elmo. My client will not answer other questions.”
Cruz ignored his attorney by offering that he will also investigate whether Elmo had a hand in having voting machines switch Trump votes to Biden. He said he noticed that Elmo “was missing” from the show the day votes were counted.
“Senator, are you going to have Elmo testify before Congress?”
“We have been looking into that very seriously. We can’t have Muppets like Elmo telling the country that vaccines are safe. The next thing you know they will be running for office.”
“You have two daughters. Did they watch ‘Sesame Street?’”
“I recorded the show and reviewed it first. They will not be watching the one about vaccinations.”
“Did you get a tip from someone on the show regarding vaccinations?”
Cruz’s attorney: “That is privileged information. We have no comment on that and I assure you Big Bird was not involved.”
“We heard rumors that you may get a warrant to raid Elmo’s dressing room…”
Attorney: “Keep mum, Senator. Let’s move on.”
Following up on Cruz, Florida Republican Governor Ron DeSantis is launching an investigation to find out whether Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and other Disney characters at Disney World in Orlando have been vaccinated.
In the midst of this controversy, Texas is installing equipment that would jam the airwaves beaming “Sesame Street” into the state.
And Cruz is drafting legislation that would make owning an Elmo doll a federal crime.
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Berl Falbaum is a veteran political journalist and author whose 12th book, “Code Red! Code Red! How Destruction of the Environment Poses Lethal Threats to Life on Earth,” was published this month.
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