By Emmanuel Hospice
It can be hard handling the holidays – especially if you’re trying to process grief that accompanies the loss of a loved one. But there are ways to make it through this season.
“One of the first things to realize is that grief is a continuum,” says Ashley Huisman, bereavement coordinator for Emmanuel Hospice. “So, while one person might react very stoically and without a lot of tears, another might be extremely emotional.
“The important thing is not to judge; we don’t know what anyone is dealing with internally in that moment.”
Another thing to consider, says Huisman, is that not everyone processes grief according to the so-called five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, despair and acceptance.
“Grief isn’t a standard, cookie-cutter type of thing,” she says, noting it’s just as common to bounce between these stages or even skip one as it is to follow them in a linear way.
Huisman offers the following tips on how to cope with grief at the holidays:
• Manage expectations. Just because you’ve always been relied upon to bake that fancy dessert, the grief you’re feeling might compel you to pass this year. .
• Make time for yourself. “Take a nap,” says Huisman. “Listen to music. Try to be reflective. Or even try to not remember for a while what you’re dealing with. The important thing is to check in with yourself and be sure you’re getting what you need.”
• Give to get. When grief overwhelms, make a conscious effort to support others. It can help you create perspective and focus on another’s needs. Says Huisman, “It’s giving your heart a break.”
• Memorialize your loss. Create a special ornament that honors the person gone. Continue to hang a stocking in their name, and slip a note inside telling them the ways they’re missed. Light a candle. Write a poem. Buy a gift they would have loved and donate it in their name to a cause.
• Reach out for help. Emmanuel Hospice, for example, offers workshops and support groups to help anyone in the community manage grief, regardless of whether they have a prior connection with the nonprofit organization or hospice care.
The nonprofit is offering free “Handling the Holidays” grief support sessions at various locations in the greater Grand Rapids area:
• Wednesday, December 14 from 2-3 p.m.
• Monday, December 19 from 10-11 a.m.
• Wednesday, December 21 from 10-11 a.m.
Contact Emmanuel Hospice if you plan to attend and get more information at 616.719.0919 or EHBereavement@emmanuelhospice.org. RSVPs are welcome up until the day of the event.
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