Counselor's Corner: Birth, life, and death

Fred Cavaiani

Birth, life, and death happens to everyone. For some of us this can be very short. For others it might be 80 years or more. It is important to realize that none of us will find genuine happiness if we believe that money or popularity or fame will be the source. Over the years, history has clearly portrayed that people who are kind and loving create a positive and spiritual atmosphere that radiates love and peace. People who are angry and critical create emotional tension all around them and often believe that happiness comes from wealth and having power over people and seek the applause of other people in whatever way they might get it. Their sense of morality is based on popularity and power and applause but not on ethical or moral principles.

Life is so very short but each moment of life can be so personally fulfilling and meaningful if each present moment is embraced gently and reflectively. If each moment becomes a moment to show more love toward others, an amazing loving and peaceful attitude will happen both for us and those around us.

Birth, life, and death is so present in each moment of life. Each moment can become a birth to a new life and an experience of love and personal depth if each moment is embraced reflectively. There is no need to rush through life because life on this planet is so short. But when each moment is experienced in a reflective manner, a new depth emerges.

Tension and depression are the result of thinking that the next moment is where we will find happiness. Happiness is only experienced in the gentle embrace and acceptance of the present moment. We are born. Then we start breathing outside the womb. Then each moment becomes life-giving and when death arrives at whatever age we may be, it becomes an opening up to an eternal life of joy.

Birth we have no control over. Life we have control over how we will embrace each moment. Death, we have control of how we accept it when it comes. But this acceptance of our final days is dependent upon how well we have lived in the present moment. I have been so pleasantly amazed when I simply embrace this present moment and realize that this is where I will experience God. It makes no difference if this moment is painful or joyful. In the gentle embrace of this moment of life, something so profound happens: an experience of the divine. This experience deepens my realization that this present life is a simple journey into eternal life, which can happen now or years from now. It makes no difference when it happens because it will happen. But it makes a difference of how gently and slowly and reflectively I embrace this moment.

Birth, life, and death is a journey we are all traveling together. We are all on the same journey. We are all on the same train through life. And it will bring us to our death. But death is simply a doorway into a new and unlimited life of joy and peace. This present life is to help us realize this and help us experience this loving God toward whom we are traveling into a deeper connection at every moment.

Whenever I get tense, I am in the process of blocking an awareness of the depth of God in each moment. Every moment is meant to be a journey and an awareness of the love and healing power of the divine in each second of life.

Birth, life, death: It is our common journey. Let’s go through it arm in arm with loving and encouraging words for each other and a gentle embrace of the divine, which is always coming toward us in this very moment. And when that final door opens, we will be joyfully and peacefully ready to go through it to an amazing, loving, joyful and peaceful life that will never end.

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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com.

 

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