By Berl Falbaum
Resume (Abridged)
Donald J. Trump
Mar-a-Lago Club
1100 S. Ocean Blvd.
Palm Beach, Florida
Phone (redacted)
Email (redacted)
Objective: To again become the leader of the world and get even with all those who have charged me with crimes and criticized me politically. Also, want to build on the summary outlined below.
Before becoming Presidential Candidate in 2015
—The Trump Organization was involved in more than 3,500 lawsuits.
—Was accused of sexual assaults by more than two-dozen women.
—Was the subject of continued coverage on numerous sexual and other exploits in New York’s tabloids. Had several adulteress affairs.
—Led the Trump organization into four bankruptcies. Failures in other business as well.
— Agreed to a $25 million settlement to resolve three lawsuits which charged students who enrolled in Trump University we misled.
—Received four questionable deferments for alleged ankle bone spurs, thus avoiding call up during the Vietnam War.
—Was sued by the Justice Department for banning Blacks from Trump property in Florida.
—Said the late Senator John McCain, who spent more than five years as a POW in North Vietnam, was not a hero because he was captured. Also, called McCain a “loser.”
—Frequently referred to some women as “pigs,” “slobs,” and “ugly.”
Presidential Candidate June 2015-November 2016
—Told first lie as a candidate by bragging about the size of the crowd at announcement to run for president. Claimed thousands; there were a couple hundred organized by PR team.
—Would not condemn the KKK.
—Mocked a disabled reporter.
—Publicly discussed daughter, Ivanka, in unsettling sexual terms.
—Boasted about grabbing women by their p____.
—Distributed antisemitic campaign literature featuring Hillary Clinton and aired antisemitic TV ads.
U.S. President, 2017-21
—Was impeached twice, the first in U.S. history to be charged twice.
—Told more than 16,000 provable lies all published by The Washington Post in the book: “Donald Trump and His Assault on Truth.”
—Alienated numerous U.S. allies, including members of NATO and the UN.
—Sided with Russian President Vladimir Putin against U.S. intelligence agencies.
—Incited an insurrection on the Capitol in which nine people died and 150 police officers were injured. Refused to call it off for more than three hours.
—Called the insurrectionists “patriots;” if re-elected, would pardon those in prison and called the riot a “day of love.”
—Supported the rioters’ call for hanging Vice President Mike Pence.
—Said white supremacists who protested in Charlottesville, Virginia that “Jews will not replace us,” included some “very fine people.”
—Believed that George Washington won the Revolutionary War because he captured the airports, and that Frederick Douglass, the famous Black abolitionist and orator in the mid-1800s, was still alive.
—Called African countries “sh__hole” nations.
—Refused to denounce QAnon.
—Suggested injecting disinfectants to fight COVID.
—Continually praised dictators around the world.
—As commander-in-chief, labeled fallen U.S. soldiers “losers” while visiting a cemetery in Paris.
—When leaving office for Mar-a-Lago, took numerous secret records which belonged in the National Archives, and refused to return them, thereby violating the Presidential Records act.
Out of Office & CEO, Trump Organization, 2021-24
—For four years, continued to lie about the 2020 election by claiming victory.
—Launched several schemes to overturn the election.
—Was found guilty of 24 felony charges for falsifying business records and will be sentenced November 26, 2024. The case involved $130,000 in hush money paid to a porn actress.
—Was fined $465 million for real estate fraud.
—Continued to lie in every interview and at rallies.
—Was found guilty of sexual assault in two civil trials and fined $88 million.
—Facing charges in three other major cases which are expected to go to trial in 2025 unless lawyers can win further delays.
—Six Trump officials went to prison for a variety of offenses, some others were Indicted and have cases pending while several were pardoned.
—Embraced white supremacists; inviting leaders to dinner at Mar-a- Lago.
Staffing in Next Administration
Plan to bring back Bannon, Manafort, Navarro and Papadopoulos. They have all completed their prison sentences. Then there is Giuliani who has been indicted in Arizona and may be available and, of course, Roger Stone, who was pardoned after he was sentenced to 40 months in prison. Given his experience and knowledge of the criminal world, he would make a great FBI Director.
Flynn is a possibility for chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. I pardoned him before he was sentenced for lying to the FBI. I like his warning that “the gates of Hell” will be unleashed if re-elected.
Still thinking about Marjorie Taylor Greene for Secretary of State or National Security Advisor. I definitely will have her in my administration. Maybe I will use her diplomatic skills at the U.N.
Also considering “My Pillow Guy,” (Michael James Lindell) to head the Small Business Administration. He furnished bedding for Mar-a-Lago, so I owe him.
References
—Trump is “America’s Hitler” and an “idiot”, J.D. Vance, vice presidential candidate.
—“I cannot in good conscience endorse Donald Trump,” Vice President, Mike Pence, 2017-2021.
—Donald Trump “should go to Hell,” Republican Senator Lindsey O. Graham.
—Trump is a “sniveling coward,” “utterly immoral,” “a serial philanderer,” Republican Senator from Texas, Ted Cruz.
—Electing Donald Trump would be like committing suicide for the country, former Republican South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley.
—Trump is a “f____ing moron,” Trump’s former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson.
—Donald Trump is a “cancer,” former Republican Governor of Texas, Rick Perry.
More references available upon request.
I am available for interviews as long as I am permitted to take the Fifth and bring two lawyers. In one deposition, took the Fifth 450 times which I am proud to say is a world record.
This is an abridged resume and I stress “abridged” because there is so much more to boast about. But this summary indicates, as I said in a TV interview, “I’m basically a truthful person.”
This is the greatest resume in U.S. history.
*****
Question to Trump supporters: So, would you hire this man for your business or want him in your family?
————————
Berl Falbaum is a veteran journalist and author of 12 books.
Resume (Abridged)
Donald J. Trump
Mar-a-Lago Club
1100 S. Ocean Blvd.
Palm Beach, Florida
Phone (redacted)
Email (redacted)
Objective: To again become the leader of the world and get even with all those who have charged me with crimes and criticized me politically. Also, want to build on the summary outlined below.
Before becoming Presidential Candidate in 2015
—The Trump Organization was involved in more than 3,500 lawsuits.
—Was accused of sexual assaults by more than two-dozen women.
—Was the subject of continued coverage on numerous sexual and other exploits in New York’s tabloids. Had several adulteress affairs.
—Led the Trump organization into four bankruptcies. Failures in other business as well.
— Agreed to a $25 million settlement to resolve three lawsuits which charged students who enrolled in Trump University we misled.
—Received four questionable deferments for alleged ankle bone spurs, thus avoiding call up during the Vietnam War.
—Was sued by the Justice Department for banning Blacks from Trump property in Florida.
—Said the late Senator John McCain, who spent more than five years as a POW in North Vietnam, was not a hero because he was captured. Also, called McCain a “loser.”
—Frequently referred to some women as “pigs,” “slobs,” and “ugly.”
Presidential Candidate June 2015-November 2016
—Told first lie as a candidate by bragging about the size of the crowd at announcement to run for president. Claimed thousands; there were a couple hundred organized by PR team.
—Would not condemn the KKK.
—Mocked a disabled reporter.
—Publicly discussed daughter, Ivanka, in unsettling sexual terms.
—Boasted about grabbing women by their p____.
—Distributed antisemitic campaign literature featuring Hillary Clinton and aired antisemitic TV ads.
U.S. President, 2017-21
—Was impeached twice, the first in U.S. history to be charged twice.
—Told more than 16,000 provable lies all published by The Washington Post in the book: “Donald Trump and His Assault on Truth.”
—Alienated numerous U.S. allies, including members of NATO and the UN.
—Sided with Russian President Vladimir Putin against U.S. intelligence agencies.
—Incited an insurrection on the Capitol in which nine people died and 150 police officers were injured. Refused to call it off for more than three hours.
—Called the insurrectionists “patriots;” if re-elected, would pardon those in prison and called the riot a “day of love.”
—Supported the rioters’ call for hanging Vice President Mike Pence.
—Said white supremacists who protested in Charlottesville, Virginia that “Jews will not replace us,” included some “very fine people.”
—Believed that George Washington won the Revolutionary War because he captured the airports, and that Frederick Douglass, the famous Black abolitionist and orator in the mid-1800s, was still alive.
—Called African countries “sh__hole” nations.
—Refused to denounce QAnon.
—Suggested injecting disinfectants to fight COVID.
—Continually praised dictators around the world.
—As commander-in-chief, labeled fallen U.S. soldiers “losers” while visiting a cemetery in Paris.
—When leaving office for Mar-a-Lago, took numerous secret records which belonged in the National Archives, and refused to return them, thereby violating the Presidential Records act.
Out of Office & CEO, Trump Organization, 2021-24
—For four years, continued to lie about the 2020 election by claiming victory.
—Launched several schemes to overturn the election.
—Was found guilty of 24 felony charges for falsifying business records and will be sentenced November 26, 2024. The case involved $130,000 in hush money paid to a porn actress.
—Was fined $465 million for real estate fraud.
—Continued to lie in every interview and at rallies.
—Was found guilty of sexual assault in two civil trials and fined $88 million.
—Facing charges in three other major cases which are expected to go to trial in 2025 unless lawyers can win further delays.
—Six Trump officials went to prison for a variety of offenses, some others were Indicted and have cases pending while several were pardoned.
—Embraced white supremacists; inviting leaders to dinner at Mar-a- Lago.
Staffing in Next Administration
Plan to bring back Bannon, Manafort, Navarro and Papadopoulos. They have all completed their prison sentences. Then there is Giuliani who has been indicted in Arizona and may be available and, of course, Roger Stone, who was pardoned after he was sentenced to 40 months in prison. Given his experience and knowledge of the criminal world, he would make a great FBI Director.
Flynn is a possibility for chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. I pardoned him before he was sentenced for lying to the FBI. I like his warning that “the gates of Hell” will be unleashed if re-elected.
Still thinking about Marjorie Taylor Greene for Secretary of State or National Security Advisor. I definitely will have her in my administration. Maybe I will use her diplomatic skills at the U.N.
Also considering “My Pillow Guy,” (Michael James Lindell) to head the Small Business Administration. He furnished bedding for Mar-a-Lago, so I owe him.
References
—Trump is “America’s Hitler” and an “idiot”, J.D. Vance, vice presidential candidate.
—“I cannot in good conscience endorse Donald Trump,” Vice President, Mike Pence, 2017-2021.
—Donald Trump “should go to Hell,” Republican Senator Lindsey O. Graham.
—Trump is a “sniveling coward,” “utterly immoral,” “a serial philanderer,” Republican Senator from Texas, Ted Cruz.
—Electing Donald Trump would be like committing suicide for the country, former Republican South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley.
—Trump is a “f____ing moron,” Trump’s former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson.
—Donald Trump is a “cancer,” former Republican Governor of Texas, Rick Perry.
More references available upon request.
I am available for interviews as long as I am permitted to take the Fifth and bring two lawyers. In one deposition, took the Fifth 450 times which I am proud to say is a world record.
This is an abridged resume and I stress “abridged” because there is so much more to boast about. But this summary indicates, as I said in a TV interview, “I’m basically a truthful person.”
This is the greatest resume in U.S. history.
*****
Question to Trump supporters: So, would you hire this man for your business or want him in your family?
————————
Berl Falbaum is a veteran journalist and author of 12 books.
