Fred Cavaiani
On Sunday, June 9, my wife and I attended the 40th wedding anniversary of close friends we have known for all of those 40 years plus some. I was in their bridal party and everyone from the original bridal party was present at this celebration. It was a warm and tender celebration and many memories were shared at this wonderful gathering including a video of the wedding and glimpses of special moments in their life together through the years. It impressed me that we were all so very young back then. The men looked handsome and the women were beautiful and as I looked around the room I realized we all look so different … we have aged. The experiences of life have left their mark on all of us — we are not young anymore.
Yet there was something that remained constant in this joyful gathering. The love between Val and Ann Celine has remained constant and profound for forty years. The friendship between all of us has also remained constant. There were at least ten of us that were good friends at the time of this wedding in 1973 and we are all good friends today. There has been faithfulness in friendship that has remained throughout the years.
The wrinkles become more numerous. The pace becomes slower. The memory can become a bit slower. The hair gets grayer. The aches in the body increase. But the love and friendship for each other continues to become deeper and stronger. The treasures of friendship and love for each other, from the loving couple celebrating this day to the faithful friends surrounding them are what remain faithful and constant. My wife and I will be married for forty years later this year as will the couple we sat with at the brunch on Sunday. We all attended each other’s weddings back in 1973. Other couples at this gathering have been married for more than 35 years and one couple I had introduced to each other. What has remained so permanent is the faithfulness and love between so many couples and the depth of friendship between all these friends.
We all get older. We become sick. We die. What remains is our love and faithfulness to each other and to our families and friends. We all need faithful friends as much as we need faithful spouses. On this morning of June 9, 2013, I was renewed by love and friendship. I felt much gratitude for being married to the same loving and faithful woman for forty years. I also felt much gratitude for the faithful and loving friends in this room whom I have known for so many years.
Looking at the video and seeing myself and others looking so young and vibrant, handsome and beautiful, I felt a tinge of regret. None of us look that way anymore. But then I looked deeper and saw the beautiful friends in this room. What a privilege to have journeyed with them throughout our lives. What a blessing. I could call any of them and they would be there if I needed them. Their friendship has been constant for so many wonderful years.
Life is about faithful friendships. Faithful friendships bring us hope and peace. It gives us a sense of belonging. It brings a sense of being connected to experiences of love and affirmation. Faithful friendships help each of us to realize that we are valued and loved.
All of us can have faithful friendships. But to have these friendships we need to make the effort to be faithful friends to other people. This loving couple has been faithful friends to each other for many years. It reminded each of us to continue to be faithful friends to our spouses and anyone else in our lives whose friendship we have embraced. This was a glorious morning of experiencing faithful friendships. Maybe life is quite simple. Just be faithful in friendship. It remains a constant in life and is a treasure to be cherished.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage and family therapist and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and Henry Ford Medical Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeastern Michigan. His column in the Legal News runs every other week. He can be reached at (248)362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com.
