Counselor's Corner: Love is all around us

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Fred Cavaiani

Last Friday, our youngest granddaughter, Giuliana, celebrated her fifth birthday. The party was held at one of the bounce party centers that are becoming so popular now. Her kindergarten class was all invited. I sat there watching all the little boys and girls playing with such joy and enthusiasm. It was quite a gathering. Then I observed all the love these young mothers and fathers had for their children. I was inspired by the energy of love in the room. The room was filled with enthusiasm and love. To give birth and raise a child is such a tremendous act of love. To be with a child from birth until adulthood is a commitment of loving actions that really lasts forever.

I watched these young mothers and fathers speak so kindly and lovingly to their children and to all the adults that were gathered. I watched my granddaughter walk around with a big smile on her face.  Everyone in that room was joyful.

I began to realize that there is much more love in the world than anything else. Most every family is filled with love for their children. Everyone is searching for love. We are all giving love to others whenever we listen to each other. What would happen if I made the effort to look for this expression of love throughout the day?

Love is all around us. Every interaction with another person is an act of love. Just watch people interact and you will most often experience an act of love or someone wanting to be loved. As I was observing these mothers watching their children play and interacting with them, I could experience the goodness and love of each child and mother. Watching the energy of these little kids playing made me wish I could bottle that playful energy and give it to everyone.

Everything we see is filled with love and energy. Every aspect of nature is filled with energy and organization. It only increases my belief in a loving, caring, organized and creative God who has designed an amazing universe.

When I am out in public I smile at everyone and it is such a gift to have someone smile back. And most people usually do.

When I bring love to others by a smile, a kind gesture, an affirming word, the better part of that person usually emerges to show me that they too are filled an energy of love. Those that can’t do this usually feel unhappy and want to be loved but are afraid if they love or let themselves be loved, they will have to become vulnerable and open. This can be frightening for people who have deep pain and hurt inside and have not dealt with this.

The other day I heard a person say that their background as a child was very unloving and that experience of not being loved easily got projected onto their perception of a God in their life. So true. We project on God our painful experiences of relationships and often do not want to see goodness when it is right in front of our face. Sometimes it feels safer to be negative and critical rather than positive and loving.

I am realizing more that if I make the effort to look for the goodness and positive energy in every moment and in every person, I feel more positive and loving. Then it seems that everything I read and see becomes experienced in a positive manner. Love is really all around us but I need to tune into that love.

I will never help the world become better by being negative and critical and condemning. But I will help the world become better by looking for love in every situation and being loving in every situation.  I was just so inspired by this birthday party for a 5-year-old loving granddaughter as I observed all the love and positive energy that filled that Party Center on Friday night. At the end of the evening my wife told me that Giuliana earlier in the day had been crying because she felt so bad for her 6-year-old sister who had been hit in the nose by a ball a few days before. What compassion! What love! This little 5-year-old could feel love and compassion for her 6-year-old sister.

Maybe this is what we all need in our lives- the ability to be loving and compassionate toward every one and make the effort to bring that love and compassion to everyone. Sometimes we might be crying out of joy and sometimes we might be crying out of compassion for others. But we will always be giving love to others.

A woman suffers pangs and fears in giving birth. But these pains and worries quickly bring a mother and a father into a state of giving love to their newborn. Every moment of life becomes a new opportunity to observe love, give love and receive love. A three-hour evening at a birthday party brought me into a deeper realization that love is all around us. And the best of love is yet to come.

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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com.

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