Counselor's Corner: Life is only the present moment

Fred Cavaiani

Life is this moment. To worry about the past is useless. To worry about the future is unnecessary. To focus on how other people should be is a waste of energy. To become negative in thinking imprisons us. Condemning other people in some emotional manner helps no one. Condemning another person to hell is not motivating another person to become more loving.

The present moment is filled with the goodness of God. The present moment is always telling us something about love, about goodness and about peace.

Anxiety and depression is drifting away from experiencing this moment. When I become controlling of others, I lose my vision. When I criticize others, I stifle myself. When I rush to the next moment, I miss the experience of God in this moment.

This past 4th of July weekend I had the privilege of being in a campground in Frankenmuth with my wife, our two daughters, son-in-law and six grandchildren. It was so refreshing to watch carefully and listen carefully to each person. And then in this day of cell phones and computers we could also visit with my son, his wife and their four-month-old son. I kept telling myself not to rush to the next moment but to experience each moment and see how I could find God in each moment. It worked. The slow inner pace inside of me seemed to open up to notice carefully the goodness and kindness inside each family member and inside everyone who crossed our path.

That slow inner pace inside of me taught me that life is to be experienced only in this moment. It is where I slow down and experience goodness, beauty and peace. Every aspect of life is a manifestation of the goodness of God. It makes no difference if someone else sees this or not. But it does make a difference if I see this goodness. I slow down. I realize that each present moment leads to an eternal moment which will never end.

Celebrating the 4th of July, our nation’s Independence Day which talks about “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all, one nation, under God with liberty and justice for all” becomes a reminder that inner freedom is a result from being loving and kind to all. We haven’t always practiced this well, but our founders realized it’s importance.

Life is so very short. But each of us is destined to live forever. Our short time on this planet is to make an impact of love on one another. It brings peace and joy. Love never ends when I allow it to impact my life.
As I watch children, teenagers, young couples, parents, grandparents, I am struck that soon they will be old as I am. What is most important that will remain? More and more I am convinced that what remains positive, healing and loving is a present moment awareness of God and a present moment awareness of love and a Present moment expression of gratitude.

Last week a friend of mine said a very profound statement: “There are no problems in life, only opportunities.” I will never forget this. Each moment of life becomes an opportunity for a deeper experience of God, of love and of a personal growth and surrender to a deeper way of life in this present moment where I get a chance to go even deeper into God and love. I must stay attentive and receptive to this present, glorious moment where I will always discover more love and a deeper experience of God.

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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com.



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