Tracy K. Lorenz ...

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Typing Out Loud Whilte Quarantined (Kind of)

If you wore camouflage to church you’d stand out.

Scam callers must really be struggling with some enticement to replace the free cruise.

When Tom Hanks announced he had the Coronavirus it was all over the news, once he recovered and said it was “Like having a case of the blahs,” you didn’t see it anywhere. That pretty much sums up the current media manipulation we’re going through.  I hope when this is all over people look back and realize just how powerful and corrupt the media is. After Biden beat Sanders on Super Tuesday it took them exactly two days to shut down schools, sports, concerts, cause panic in grocery stores, and entire industries to collapse.

Maybe they did it as an homage to what the country would be like if Bernie won?

It’s weird that if you can’t swim you drown, but after you drown you float.

If you weigh 99 pounds and eat one pound of macaroni and cheese your body will literally be 1% macaroni and cheese.

For blind people, finger calluses must be like cataracts.

The best part of dating a homeless person is you could drop them off anywhere.

Suddenly, and without much warning, pretty much all kids are in cages.

In a way, March Madness is still happening.

On the plus side, school shootings are down dramatically.

Maybe earth is a cell and mankind is a growing cancer?

You can never actually win a pinball game.

If we walked as fast as birds fly we’d probably crash into more glass than they do.

The difference between a symphony conductor and just a guy spazzing out with a chopstick in front of a band is disturbingly small.

It would suck if your New Year’s resolution was to be more social.

I wish stores would post pictures of all the Karens out there hoarding toilet paper so we can publicly shame them.

If a rubber band breaks it’s still in one piece.

If you’re under 30 and your grandma is 90, she’s slept more hours than you’ve been alive.

Weightlifting on the moon would look pretty impressive.

Satan is an adult living in his father’s basement.

Printed by permission of the author. Email him at Lorenzatlarge@aol.com.
Get Tracy’s latest book at BarnesandNoble.com or Amazon.com, or  download it from www.fastpencil.com.
Only $3.99, cheap.

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