Legal News
Mention divorce and most people envision an acrimonious, painful process.
Divorce may not be easy, but it can be a respectful and compassionate new start.
That’s the concept behind the “Divorce With Respect” initiative, which was started in 2021 by Collaborative Practice California (CPCAL).
This year, Divorce With Respect Week was held March 3-9. Bloomfield Hills divorce attorney Alisa Peskin-Shepherd was one of hundreds of attorneys and professionals across the country who offered free, 30-minute divorce consultations to help promote alternative options to court-based litigative divorce.
Peskin-Shepherd is the founder of Transitions Legal, a divorce/family law firm that helps clients through divorce, child support, alimony, step-parent adoption, prenuptial and postnuptial agreements, child custody, parenting time, property settlements, and post-judgment issues.
“I want my clients to be able to think back on that time in their lives, and be grateful that together, we got them through a difficult transition to a brighter place,” said Peskin-Shepherd.
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When she was growing up, Peskin-Shepherd often was told by her mother that she would make a great lawyer because of the way she argued.
“As a middle child, I had to either negotiate or argue my point in my family,” recalls Peskin-Shepherd. “I had to balance two sisters, or a sister and a mother, often feeling in the middle.”
Those formative experiences helped her develop the empathy and communication skills necessary to become an effective mediator and divorce attorney.
Peskin-Shepherd initially thought she wanted to be a social worker, but her mother, who was a social worker herself, worried she wouldn’t be able to sufficiently support herself.
“That may not be true today; things have really changed in that profession,” said Peskin-Shepherd. “But that’s what made me shift to a career in law during college.”
Peskin-Shepherd earned her undergrad degree from the University of Michigan in urban planning and community development.
“That was my fallback,” she says.
She went on to Case Western Reserve University Law School in Cleveland, where she earned her law degree.
“What interested me about family law when I decided that it would be my focus was the sense that I was helping people in a way that was very productive, while they were still dealing with their emotions, and I was offering the compassion and empathy that comes naturally to me in these situations,” said Peskin-Shepherd. “Seeing them grow through the process is always interesting to me. That’s what I find fulfilling about it — working with people at one of the most difficult times in their life and seeing them progress through it to a point where they feel more confident and come to the realization of what is best for them.”
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Peskin-Shepherd has more than 30 years of experience practicing law in Michigan and is involved in several collaborative practice organizations, including the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals and the Collaborative Practice Institute of Michigan.
She learned of Collaborative Divorce about 19 years ago and completed the introductory training in 2007, knowing it would meld well with her philosophy and values and with the mediation practice she was focused on at the time.
The Collaborative Divorce process is a multi-disciplinary approach to ending a marriage. In addition to two collaboratively trained divorce attorneys, the Collaborative Divorce process also involves a financial professional who acts in a neutral role for both clients; a divorce coach, who is a mental health professional; and often a mortgage lender because the marital home is usually the largest asset. If needed, when there are children and higher conflict, the professional team may also include a child specialist whose role is to be the voice of the children in the process. All professionals must, at a minimum, have taken the Introductory Training offered annually in Michigan through the Collaborative Institute of Michigan (CPIM), and through other training groups across the country online.
Self-determination and privacy are two big benefits for clients who are avoiding court proceedings.
“You don’t have the judge or an attorney telling you, ‘This is how it’s going to be,’” said Peskin-Shepherd. “Additionally, everything happens in the conference room with the clients present. The information disclosed, and discussions surrounding settlement stay there — what you have and how you’ve decided to divide your assets, and the disagreements you may have had before reaching a resolution, will not be in public records.”
Lastly, there can be greater time efficiency, and cost savings, depending on the case.
“The time a client is paying professionals for and expending themselves is productive. For the most part, you are there when the work is being done — not 100 percent because your professional team will communicate before and after sessions. But clients are there for most of it, and for all of the decision-making” said Peskin-Shepherd, who added there’s no time spent waiting in court or being engaged in adversarial discussions.
“Collaborative cases are not easy because we sit with the conflict in the room and have to work through it. The process often helps people communicate better with each other post-divorce, especially when they have children together; and it helps separating couples establish realistic expectations about how to deal with their former spouse,” said Peskin-Shepherd.
Peskin-Shepherd lives in Oakland County and comes from a long line of strong females. She has two grown daughters, a son-in-law, a cat named Sunny and a “grand-dog” named Bamba. In her downtime, she enjoys working out, riding her Peloton bike, visiting with friends and family, spending time learning Torah, and being involved in the Jewish community.
Her involvement with Collaborative Practice organizations keeps her busy, and occasionally she will lead meetings at practice development groups, including presenting at the Rochester Center for Behavior Health, the Birmingham-Bloomfield Chamber of Commerce Business Pioneers affinity group, Inforum, and for the Jewish Family Service.
“I’m on the fund-raising committee for IACP, and our goal is to grow the movement, which gets the word out about Collaborative Divorce,” said Peskin-Shepherd. “It’s about making the world a better place, a kinder place, one person, one family at a time. And it overflows into so many areas. Once you’re involved in a peace-focused organization, learning tools to reduce conflict and resolve conflict in a peaceful way, it bleeds into so many other very interesting ideas and opportunities for kindness, and it’s nice to focus my mind on what I can do for peace in today’s world.”
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