By Fred Cavaiani
Sometimes the meaning of love is forgotten. Religion and politics forget this often. Each of us can rationalize away what love means. The basis of good spirituality and good psychology is always about being loving and kind toward others. Happy people reach out to others in compassion without worrying about what they will get back. Unhappy people keep worrying what they are going to receive from others.
Religions profess love. Often members of religious denominations forget to practice the lessons of love expressed by their founders. Jesus Christ gave concrete examples of love in his words and actions. Christians easily rationalize words away in order to keep themselves protected from people who look and think differently.
When you are around a loving person you want to become more loving. Your heart reaches out in compassion. You become inspired and proud to be associated with this person because you see such goodness. No amount of rules and regulations can control a loving person or block them from reaching out to others in good actions and thoughts.
Those who love, receive much love from others. Those who withhold love from others end up experiencing other people withholding love from them. When I give generously to others, others seem to give more generously also.
Arguments and conflicts do not end when both sides are accusing one another of wrong doing. Conflicts end when kind words and compassion are shown to each other.
If I keep worrying about how terrible or selfish you are, I will only look for your faults and not see your virtues. If I look upon you with warmth and kindness you will discover good things about yourself. And I will discover good things about you also.
Love unites people and disarms them.
I saw an inspiring incident on television last week. Two ball players on opposite teams were playing for a championship baseball game. The pitcher and the batter were close friends. It was the last play of the game and the pitcher struck out his friend who played on the opposite team. This means the pitcher's team won the championship. The first thing this pitcher did was to go and embrace his friend whom he had just struck out. What care and compassion. What love!
Every time I nurse a resentment toward another person, I diminish myself and cause myself misery. I end up living an internal life of hell while nursing grudges and criticisms about other people.
When I reach out to others in love and compassion I discover a profound experience of love and peace. Whatever my spiritual journey in life might be, it will get better because my heart has been opened to love and kindness.
Any laws or rules in any religion, political institution or social movement must always be modified and regulated by love and kindness. Public words in religion, social movements and politics should never be condemnatory and should never be personal attacks. Words and actions must always be immersed in love and kindness. When this happens, good laws are made. When love reigns supreme, then acts that are unloving become very clear to the majority of people who will lovingly work to overcome unloving acts and attitudes.
Each decade of life and each century need people who are not afraid to show love and compassion consistently.
These past couple of weeks I have attended a number of funerals of people I have known for many years. A woman from our old neighborhood in Troy and a man from the same neighborhood just died in the last two weeks. Our kids grew up together. This man and this woman were people who were always loving and kind. They gave all of us an experience of feeling loved and important.
In many of these articles that I write, I repeat this message so very often. Life is really very simple and this message needs to be repeated very often: BRING MORE LOVE INTO THE WORLD. It helps us all to become better and brings us all closer to a Divine Experience of a Loving God. And peace reigned over the whole land!
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage & family therapist and psychotherapist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and Henry Ford Medical Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeastern Michigan he is also on staff at Capuchin Retreat Center in Washington, MI. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com.
Published: Thu, Jun 21, 2018
