THE COUNSELOR'S CORNER: The blame game vs the energy of love

This pandemic can be emotionally overwhelming. The President has corona virus. Friends and relatives of mine have gotten this virus. There are over 147,000 people who die each day in the world from various causes. There are 385,000 babies born each day. This amounts to over 140 million births each year. There are about 55 million deaths each year in the world. The world population increases by at least 85 million people a year. Each day there are births and deaths. It is part of life. When a person whom we know dies, we feel helpless. But when a person who dies could have been able to live a longer life, we want to blame someone. Medicine helps to prolong life. A pandemic causes us all to feel more helpless and powerless. So, we emotionally invest in a blame game which is sometimes accurate and sometimes inaccurate. During this pandemic we are seeing the best in people and we are seeing the worst in people. This has always been the case throughout history. Everyone wants someone to blame at times. But the blame game never solves anything. It simply causes more tension in people and more friction in the world. When I look for someone to blame for how I live my life, I am creating misery for myself. I also send out negative energy into the world when I do not take responsibility for my own actions. Life is so very short. If I invest my life into an energy of Love towards all, I will experience an inner peace and joy that will fill my short life on this earth with meaning and peace. Each of us has to say goodbye to people we love who die and enter the next life. This is part of life. We cannot prevent this from happening because death will happen to everyone. This pandemic simply has put this reality of life right in front of our face on a daily basis. But this reality has always been there. As much as I would like to be angry at people who think differently than I do, it is never helpful. It simply brings more tension and misery into my life and will probably even shorten my life. Anger, resentments, practicing the BLAME GAME is not the best way to live a healthy and peaceful life. Living a life filled with loving energy towards others seems to have always worked throughout history. Loving and kind people leave a footprint in life that inspires others to be a more loving version of themselves to other people. If I give out kindness and love to others, I help others. If I give out condemnations and judgments toward others, I do not help others but I simply push others to go in the opposite direction of Love. We are all getting overwhelmed right now. How do we find a solution to a pandemic? Solutions don't result from blaming others. Solutions result from taking positive and loving actions towards other people. Probably some of the best solutions come from loving doctors, nurses and health care people who take care of the sick. I don't think you will find many doctors or nurses blaming a patient for getting the corona virus. They are simply lovingly present to take care of the patient. What an inspiring example of how to live life. Wearing a mask is an act love towards another person. Some people are not capable of doing this but so what. I will continue to wear a mask and be loving and kind. Loving others can never be dependent upon how well you love me. Love should never be dependent on the goodness of another person. It must be dependent upon the goodness inside of me. This goodness inside of me becomes deepened as I sit quietly and allow myself to experience the wisdom and compassion of a loving God who is present in everything and everyone in some way. I so much want to condemn and criticize right now. But it never gets me anywhere. I am right now inspired by the awareness of the power of Love. And you don't have to like me or love me. But I certainly need to discover how to better love you and find goodness in you. This past week three very loving people I have known, died. What they left behind was kindness, simplicity and compassion. Joy comes from Love. Peace results from care and compassion. The Power and Wisdom of God can take over when I make the decision to depart from negativity in thoughts and actions towards others. This pandemic puts THE BLAME GAME right before my face every day. But this pandemic also puts right before my face each day, the POWER OF THE ENERGY OF LOVE. I want to choose that POWER OF THE ENERGY OF LOVE. I will love you no matter what. And you don't have to love me even though I know I must love you if I am going to have a happy and peaceful time on this very short journey through life. -------- Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage & family therapist and limited licensed psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Michigan. Cavaiani is associate editor and contributing writer for Human Development Magazine. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is FredsCounselorsCorner.com. Published: Tue, Oct 06, 2020