THE COUNSELOR'S CORNER: Old age and young age

Often, I realize that I am old. So are many of my long-term friends. I have many friends who are younger also. Each morning I spend time exercising and time meditating. I do this not to stay young because I realize how short life is and that I will die just like everyone else. I spend daily time exercising and meditating so I can experience the present moment with a healthy attentiveness. Old age has helped me realize that whether I am young or old, the same principle of life is equally applicable: Gently experience this present moment and I will experience God. Don't rush to the next moment and my whole spiritual, emotional and physical system will slow down. This will bring a peaceful experience of this moment and help me to embrace whatever might come my way. Right before I started writing this article, I texted the editor to say that I would be late this week in getting my article to the papers. My wife was sick and we had to go the Emergency Room. It was part of what was happening that I realized I had to embrace and accept, gently and compassionately. Then she started resting, her system slowed down, the pain ceased and she decided that we didn't have to go to ER. But it was because she embraced what was happening in a gentle and accepting manner and so did I. There was no panic. Just an acceptance of what was happening. Because she is my proof reader, electronic guru, and Word consultant, I realized that I would need her help to make sure this article will be clear, concise and inspiring. It was the embrace of this present moment that helped us deal realistically with what was happening. (As it turned out we called 911 and went to the ER. She is fine now) The young and the old must face the present moment. My elder years help me to realize that wisdom is not related to my age. It is related to how gently I experience this present moment. I do not have to be criticizing anyone or anything to find peace. I only have to gently embrace this moment. Wisdom happens when I lovingly and reflectively embrace this present moment. The moment might be comfortable. It might be painful. It becomes my reflective embrace of this moment that slows me down and puts me into an experience of something profound and peaceful which is not dependent upon what might be happening to me. It is only dependent upon how well I embrace and experience this moment. As I listen to my grandchildren tell me about their present moments, I become inspired by their attentive focus on other people and how gently they experience people and how profoundly they experience the present moment. Our youngest grandchild is 17 months old. His focus on the present moment becomes as inspiring to me as my elderly friends. Old age has helped me to realize all of life from beginning to the end is meant to be a gentle, peaceful experience of the present moment. And everyone can teach me more about this. I love to be with people who humbly share the pain and brokenness of life in a humble manner. There is such humility in listening to other people share their inner self. I become inspired and challenged to open up to myself deeper and open up to God deeper. Old people and young people can teach us so much about life and how to live life without having to preach about what we must do. When a young person and an old person simply share with me what their journey in life is like, God becomes vividly present. The young and the old are on the same journey. Find love and peace in the present moment. Find a positive experience of God in the present moment. Discover love in the present moment by always being loving and grateful and focused on this moment. My grandchildren teach me this. My younger friends teach me this. My older friends teach me this. I am surrounded by wisdom and love in each moment of life. Life will always have pain and sadness, pain and struggles. But life will always have love, gratitude, positive energy and joy and an experience of a God who is always loving and giving in each moment. Both young people and old people can experience this in the present moment. We are all in this journey together. So, I must listen to both the young and the old. "As morning breaks, i look to you to be my strength this day. O God for you I long, my soul is thirsting." The young and the old teach me this. -------- Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage & family therapist and limited licensed psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Michigan. Cavaiani is associate editor and contributing writer for Human Development Magazine. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is FredsCounselorsCorner.com. Published: Tue, Aug 30, 2022