Last Saturday I attended a percussion ensemble concert at Rochester High School because my granddaughter was playing in it. It was a very moving and loud concert. I was uplifted by the intensity of the music with percussion instruments. And then, suddenly, tears came to my eyes and I felt like sobbing because this powerful music brought me to a new depth of pain in missing my wife who died two and a half months ago. There was such a depth of tears that surfaced from watching these very dedicated high school students play so precisely and beautifully. Later I called a good friend of mine who has been a Church musician for many years. He said that music does this often for many people. I was not surprised to hear this but I never realized to what depths of emotion I could feel listening to this music.
As I reflected more about this evening, I felt a deep sense of gratitude and love for my wife and for the warmth and kindness present in so many people. It seemed like I became more aware of the kindness and goodness of people. We all went out to eat after the concert and I was again inspired by the kindness of people opening doors for me, letting us all sit by each other as we waiting for our table in the restaurant. The depth of feeling that I was experiencing seem to have opened my heart to a new depth of experiencing the power of goodness and love in other people.
I have heard the term used “the power of powerlessness.” This term is a basic foundation of positive spirituality and positive psychology. I have realized this for many years but last Saturday evening I experienced deeper than ever before. When we allow ourselves to feel our emotional pain instead of bemoan it and feel pity and sorrow for ourselves because of a personal loss or death, bad health, financial difficulties, or whatever difficulty comes our way which is out of our control, we are entering into powerlessness. And when this powerlessness is embraced and accepted, we become transformed into a more uplifted way of life even while we may be crying or sobbing. The embrace of powerlessness uplifts us to a whole new way of life. In this embrace I find a deeper relationship with God. I also experience less tension or regret and I begin to experience a sense of gratitude for my whole life and I experience God as a Loving and Uplifting Power. I was amazed at how I have been looking at the love and goodness in people ever since I had that powerful experience of crying at the percussion ensemble concert last Saturday evening.
I realize more that tears do not need to be avoided. Tears bring us strength and hope. They lead us to a new depth of life. The embrace of pain brings a person into an internal freedom that helps me connect with God much more and helps me to connect emotionally and spiritually with whomever is in my presence. Trying to explain this to another person is difficult. But the embrace of pain will help me to experience everything and everyone I meet each day in a loving and positive manner. In the midst pain and sorrow well embraced, I will see and experience goodness everywhere.
The embrace of powerlessness brings to me the loving Power and Strength of God. As much as this can be analyzed and understood, it will not help unless I accept and embrace my tears and powerlessness. As I look over my life and think of the deaths of so many good people and relatives that I have known, I discover a positive depth of life that uplifts me into a whole new, positive union with God and with other people. This is not an intellectual journey. It is a heart -filled Journey. The more I feel loved by another person’s kind words or actions, the more uplifted I feel. The more I show loved and kindness to someone, the more I experience God.
Life is always a journey with God and a journey into God. The embrace of my tears and powerlessness over people, places and things bring me into a connection with God and with other people that provides me with a loving and positive roadmap throughout my life, no matter how long or how short my life might be. This consistent embrace of powerlessness allows God to embrace me, heal me and give me a roadmap through life. And I then find a profound experience of God in the most unusual places and life keeps getting better no matter what might be happening around me.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage & family therapist and limited licensed psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Michigan. Cavaiani is associate editor and contributing writer for Human Development Magazine. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is FredsCounselorsCorner.com.
As I reflected more about this evening, I felt a deep sense of gratitude and love for my wife and for the warmth and kindness present in so many people. It seemed like I became more aware of the kindness and goodness of people. We all went out to eat after the concert and I was again inspired by the kindness of people opening doors for me, letting us all sit by each other as we waiting for our table in the restaurant. The depth of feeling that I was experiencing seem to have opened my heart to a new depth of experiencing the power of goodness and love in other people.
I have heard the term used “the power of powerlessness.” This term is a basic foundation of positive spirituality and positive psychology. I have realized this for many years but last Saturday evening I experienced deeper than ever before. When we allow ourselves to feel our emotional pain instead of bemoan it and feel pity and sorrow for ourselves because of a personal loss or death, bad health, financial difficulties, or whatever difficulty comes our way which is out of our control, we are entering into powerlessness. And when this powerlessness is embraced and accepted, we become transformed into a more uplifted way of life even while we may be crying or sobbing. The embrace of powerlessness uplifts us to a whole new way of life. In this embrace I find a deeper relationship with God. I also experience less tension or regret and I begin to experience a sense of gratitude for my whole life and I experience God as a Loving and Uplifting Power. I was amazed at how I have been looking at the love and goodness in people ever since I had that powerful experience of crying at the percussion ensemble concert last Saturday evening.
I realize more that tears do not need to be avoided. Tears bring us strength and hope. They lead us to a new depth of life. The embrace of pain brings a person into an internal freedom that helps me connect with God much more and helps me to connect emotionally and spiritually with whomever is in my presence. Trying to explain this to another person is difficult. But the embrace of pain will help me to experience everything and everyone I meet each day in a loving and positive manner. In the midst pain and sorrow well embraced, I will see and experience goodness everywhere.
The embrace of powerlessness brings to me the loving Power and Strength of God. As much as this can be analyzed and understood, it will not help unless I accept and embrace my tears and powerlessness. As I look over my life and think of the deaths of so many good people and relatives that I have known, I discover a positive depth of life that uplifts me into a whole new, positive union with God and with other people. This is not an intellectual journey. It is a heart -filled Journey. The more I feel loved by another person’s kind words or actions, the more uplifted I feel. The more I show loved and kindness to someone, the more I experience God.
Life is always a journey with God and a journey into God. The embrace of my tears and powerlessness over people, places and things bring me into a connection with God and with other people that provides me with a loving and positive roadmap throughout my life, no matter how long or how short my life might be. This consistent embrace of powerlessness allows God to embrace me, heal me and give me a roadmap through life. And I then find a profound experience of God in the most unusual places and life keeps getting better no matter what might be happening around me.
————————
Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage & family therapist and limited licensed psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Michigan. Cavaiani is associate editor and contributing writer for Human Development Magazine. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is FredsCounselorsCorner.com.
