Typing Out Loud

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 TRACY K. LORENZ

I bet Michigan fans are secretly hoping Urban Meyer gets fired so they can fire Harbaugh and hire him instead.

Meatballs are the cupcake version of meatloaf.

And croutons are the ice cubes of bread.

The reason dogs fake giving you the ball back is because of all the times you fake-threw it.

Flat earthers are fat shaming our planet.

The best thing about Messenger bubbles is you can slam dunk someone’s face into the bottom of your phone if they annoy you.

I wrote a book on how to be unsuccessful and it didn’t sell one copy.

As far as we know, we’re the only planet in the universe that can experience floods.

Remember when Iraq lost the Gulf War so they just set all the oil wells in Kuwait on fire out of spite?  That’s how I see the current Democratic party.

How come in breakfast restaurants the waitress never asks how I want my toast done?

All pets are adopted pets.

To the best of my knowledge this is the first time I’ve ever typed LOL.

And I can guarantee you I’ve never typed ROTFL.

But I will occasionally do a smiley face.

Every person you know is edible.

I wish my phone had a laser pointer.

The fact boys and girls are born in about the same number is greatly underappreciated.

If you look at the world around you it’s kinda like your brain is inside out.

Two weeks ago I played in a golf tournament in North Carolina and hung out with Tom Burleson, he’s seven feet four and a half inches tall, in his life he won an NCAA Championship at NC State, an Olympic medal, and played in the NBA for thirteen years.  But I bet he never once won at hide-and-seek.

He (Tom) is currently the building inspector in Boon, NC. He said when he left the NBA (he was the third overall pick in the draft) he became an electrician, he also said he choose NC State because of their 4H program. My how times have changed.

Printed by permission of the author.
Email him at Lorenzat
large@aol.com.
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