THE COUNSELOR'S CORNER: The challenge to be our best self

At this time the whole world is being drawn together into a battle with a common enemy. People everywhere are wearing masks and keeping a distance from each other in order to unite together to conquer corona virus. We are all challenged to go deeper within ourselves to find strength to make the changes necessary to stop the spread of this virus. We become inspired by the dedication of health care workers and essential workers. Stories of love and heroism inspire us to look for more goodness within our personal self because we see so many examples of love and dedication to others by essential care workers. Leaders of countries who express compassion for others inspire us. During this dangerous time, we witness the best in some people and the worst in others. We are in a world pandemic. It is a reality. Some people want to deny this reality or minimize it. Others might maximize this reality. But the fact is that the world right now is very vulnerable and we all need one another to have sensitivity and compassion for each other. I am profoundly impressed by how so many people now will wear masks in public places. I become deeply disappointed in people who choose not to wear a mask and keep a social distance. However, I only have control over what I will do. There is goodness everywhere and the goodness I witness in people will be the main weapon that will give me the strength to continue to fight COVID 19. It is our goodness and compassion toward others that will make this world a more caring and compassionate planet. Throughout centuries there have been many plagues. These plagues have brought out the vey best in people and the very worst in people. But the best has always overcome. Goodness has always overcome selfishness and denial of reality. The COVID 19 plague causes each of us to question the purpose of life and become more aware of how short life is. People die each day. This corona virus puts life and death right in front of us every day. What will we take with us when we pass over to the next life? And what will we leave behind when we make this transition? What do you remember about the important people in your life that have died? I am sure you remember how loving and kind they were to you and everyone else. Love is the most important gift we can give to others and it is what we take with us when we leave this earth. It is also what we leave behind as a gift to others. Love is the gift of our best self to others. Who brings you compassion? Who expresses kindness and care to you? These qualities of love are what makes this world a caring and compassionate oasis. Sometimes we can totally forget this. We can even minimize this or ignore this fundamental principle of life: loving one another. It is what we all want but it is what we all can easily put on a back shelf of life. A world plague like COVID 19 seems to put the importance of being kind, loving, and compassionate right in front of our face every day. Most people respond to this. Those who become angry and resist being compassionate, and refuse to wear a mask or keep a safe distance from others out of some literal belief that it is a constitutional right to do whatever they want, do not seem to respond to the meaning of compassion and care for others. Compassion and love should never be regulated by laws but should be reinforced by laws. I have been impressed by how congress has responded with unemployment money and stimulus checks for its citizens. It certainly is expensive but it is like care and compassion for citizens has come first. The COVID virus has helped us all understand what is most important in life: to help one another. Maybe our best selves are surfacing in each of us and in congress. We need one another. Life can only be lived because we are all interdependent upon one another. This interdependence means that each nation needs other nations to survive. We cannot live in isolation and separation from one another. I see much goodness coming out of this world plague. We are all being forced to mourn together and we are all being forced to help one another. We are so very openly admitting to each other how vulnerable we are and how we need each other. I am becoming more aware each day that when I put my mask on, I am performing an act of love toward someone else. When I go in to a store or any building and see so many people wearing masks, I begin to realize that we are all speaking words of love to one another and words of being vulnerable. We all need one another. As isolated as we are, we are closer to one another than we have been in years. LOVE ONE ANOTHER. LOVE COMES FROM GOD. As Jackie DeShannon sang so many years ago, "What the world needs most is Love, Sweet Love. This is the message of COVID 19. -------- Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage & family therapist and limited licensed psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Michigan. Cavaiani is associate editor and contributing writer for Human Development Magazine. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is FredsCounselorsCorner.com. Published: Tue, Jul 28, 2020