by Traci R. Gentilozzi
Dolan Media Newswires
DETROIT, MI -- --(October 22, 2013) Every Michigan legislator can introduce up to 60 bills each year. While many pieces of worthwhile legislation have been passed in 2013, some bills really have no chance of getting anywhere.
Here are a few of the more interesting ones that have been proposed, most of which have been stuck in committee and aren’t expected to find their way out anytime soon.
* Proclaiming the state fruit as either the blueberry or the cherry; the state sweet as Mackinac Island fudge; and the state song as “Michigan Man” by Mike Ridley.
The cherry as the state fruit makes sense. Michigan is the top tart cherry-producing state in the nation, according to the Agricultural Marketing Resource Center. And there is a renowned cherry festival in Traverse City each year. And while Michigan is, indeed, the number one state in high-bush blueberry production (see Michigan State University’s “Michigan Blueberry Facts”), this vote should probably go to the better-known cherry. Sorry, little blue fruit. (And, no, the blueberry suggestion has nothing to do with the “I’m Concerned About The Blueberries” billboard near I-69 West and the I-75 northbound off-ramp.)
Mackinac Island fudge as the state’s signature sweet treat? That probably passes muster. The caramel or candy apple may do nicely, too. After all, Michigan is a big apple-grower. With 9.2 million apple trees in the state, it produces more than 900 million pounds of the tasty fruit each year.
Now, as for the state song, the proposal is “Michigan Man.” Yes, it’s a nice little ditty. But a large part of the state’s population is not male. Seems we should maybe have a gender-neutral song, eh?
Maybe Michigan deserves a more rockin’ tune. After all, the state is home to the likes of Bob Seger, Kid Rock (a/k/a Robert James Ritchie) and Eminem (a/k/a Marshall Mathers). Maybe “Roll Me Away,” where Seger references Mackinac City. Or Kid Rock’s “All Summer Long,” where he sings about catching walleye from the dock, watching the waves roll off the rocks. As for Eminem, well, it seems most of his songs are profanity-laced ….
* Allowing people to take “selfies” at voting precincts.
The Secretary of State doesn’t let people snap pictures of themselves inside the voting precinct. The sponsor of this legislation said that, on election day, people should be able to take and post pictures of themselves on social media because they are “proud” of voting.
Consider this: Many states prohibit activities that interfere with other people’s voting. The key word here is “other.” So, even if "selfies" are allowed, disrupting or intimidating someone else’s voting or capturing an image of another person’s ballot could still be a big no-no.
And maybe … just maybe … people shouldn’t take "selfies" at the polls because voting is private? But then again, it’s never surprising what people will post on social media.
* Before letting the state superintendent of schools award a teaching certificate, the soon-to-be teacher must prove that he or she has taken “approved” English grammar and punctuation classes.
This seems a bit unusual. Presumably, if you’re receiving a teaching certificate, you’ve certainly had “approved” grammar and punctuation class … haven’t you? Colleges don’t teach these kinds of courses — these are concepts that should’ve been grasped in elementary or middle school. So what does the would-be teacher show the state superintendent, a 6th grade report card?
* Requiring schools to observe a “Constitution Week” (as opposed to just one day) each year, with mandatory lessons on appreciation for veterans, historical documents and figures, and the importance of the American flag and a limited government.
Isn’t this already taught in a basic history class? That's all.
* Prohibiting communities from enacting ordinances against owning carrier pigeons.
Carrier pigeons were used primarily in wartime to deliver messages. Are they still used for anything? But then again, they could actually be faster than the U.S. Postal Service ….
Entire contents copyrighted © 2013 by The Dolan Company
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