By Berl Falbaum
Guilt is an integral part of being Jewish. But never in more than eight decades have I felt so Jewish (guilty).
The reason: In my scribblings criticizing Donald Trump for a decade, I apparently have misjudged him completely. At least according to late-night comic, Bill Maher.
Maher, who was a long-time critic of the president, had a private meeting/dinner with Trump and reports to us that he now has a much better and complete understanding of the man.
He found Trump -- sit down before you read on -- “gracious and measured.” That alone took my guilty breath away.
Gracious me, I had no idea. I say that repentantly and measuredly.
But there was more.
He discovered Trump laughs. Yes, he laughed. In his monologue explaining what he learned about Trump, Maher said:
“Just for starters, he laughs! I’ve never seen him laugh in public. But he does, including at himself. And it’s not fake. Believe me, as a comedian of 40 years, I know a fake laugh when I hear it.”
A real laugh! Who knew? And this discovery was “just for starters.”
Wallowing in guilt, I went to see my rabbi and asked if he would take a Jewish confession.
“Well, this is unusual to say the least,” my rabbi advised. “Can you tell me a little about what is bothering you?”
“Sure, here goes. It’s about Trump. Please be patient with me:
-- Please forgive me for misjudging a “gracious and measured” assaulter of women.
-- Please forgive me for berating a “gracious and measured” convicted felon.
-- Please forgive me for believing that “gracious and measured” real estate fraud is wrong.
-- Please forgive me for rejecting Trump’s tens of thousands of “gracious and measured” lies.
-- Please forgive my faulting a “gracious and measured” inciter of an insurrection and who tried (is working) to destroy our democracy.
-- Please forgive me for berating Trump for “gracious and measured” denials that he lost the 2020 election,” and for supporting the “gracious” and measured” insurrections’ call to hang his vice president for certifying the vote.
-- Please forgive me for censuring a “gracious and measured” man’s assault on the law, media, and universities.
The rabbi interrupted: “Berl, how much more have you got?”
“I know you are a busy man,” I replied. “Actually, I am just getting started. Hey, we are dealing with 10 years of gracious and measured behavior. Lots more but I need to get this all off my chest. I desperately need some absolution.”
Rabbi: “There is just so much I can do. You know taking confessions is not part of my portfolio. You’re in the wrong pew. More important, some of the sins you say you committed, I did too. Maybe we should both see someone else. Like a Catholic priest?”
The rabbi called a priest, a friend, who agreed to take our confessions but we would have to wait a little. After the Maher revelations, he said, his confessional booth runneth over.
“Make an appointment,” he urged.
Now, Maher is not the first media/commentator who tried to make peace with Trump. There was Joe Scarborough of “Morning Joe,” who with his wife, Mika Brzezinski, went to Mar-a-Lago while carrying a white flag.
And New York Times Columnist Bret Stephens, who can’t decide whether to be pro or con Trump, wrote in one column, “Done with Never Trumper,” yes, the president was “dishonest but authentic.” Authenticity “trumps” (pun intended) dishonesty.
I wondered whether Al Capone, Bugsy Siegel, John Dillinger, Lucky Luciano, et al, were authentically gracious and measured.
Maher said he and Trump discussed many issues over 2-½ hours: Iran and a possible nuclear treaty, turning Gaza into a Dubai-Riviera (which he endorses; I wondered whether he invested in Gaza), Reagan (Trump said he liked his hair), and other national and international concerns.
“I went into the mine, and that’s what’s down there,” Maher said. “A crazy person doesn’t live in the White House. A person who plays a crazy person on TV a lot lives there…”
“You see, rabbi, Trump is only acting. How was I supposed to know?”
Regarding the 2020 election, Maher told us Trump used the word “lost.”
“I distinctly remember saying, “Wow, I never thought I’d hear you say that.”
Maher explains: “He didn’t get mad. He’s much more self-aware than he lets on in public.”
That’s because he was acting for four years when he told Americans the election was rigged. If only we knew.
Apparently, understanding that some cynics (like me) will be, shall we say, suspicious of Maher’s judgment, he added:
“I am just taking it as a positive that this person exists, because everything I’ve ever not liked about him, was, I swear to God, absent, at least on this night…”
Ah, the light shoneth.
Maher did walk away with a souvenir from his visit. No, not a MAGA hat.
Maher said he had his staff collect and print insults, some 60, Trump had aimed at him. These included: “Stupid, dummy, low-life dummy, sleazebag, sick, sad, stone-cold crazy.” And, holy, moly, the president signed them.
While “stupid and dummy” seem to fit, what’s missing are such words as: gullible, naive, guileless, phony, charlatan, double-dealer.
“Berl,” the rabbi warned me, “you are seeking forgiveness. Don’t make it worse.”
Maher may never have heard Trump laugh before his meeting with him. But when Trump listened to Maher’s post-meeting monologue, he really laughed hilariously. And it wasn’t gracious or measured.
Guilt is an integral part of being Jewish. But never in more than eight decades have I felt so Jewish (guilty).
The reason: In my scribblings criticizing Donald Trump for a decade, I apparently have misjudged him completely. At least according to late-night comic, Bill Maher.
Maher, who was a long-time critic of the president, had a private meeting/dinner with Trump and reports to us that he now has a much better and complete understanding of the man.
He found Trump -- sit down before you read on -- “gracious and measured.” That alone took my guilty breath away.
Gracious me, I had no idea. I say that repentantly and measuredly.
But there was more.
He discovered Trump laughs. Yes, he laughed. In his monologue explaining what he learned about Trump, Maher said:
“Just for starters, he laughs! I’ve never seen him laugh in public. But he does, including at himself. And it’s not fake. Believe me, as a comedian of 40 years, I know a fake laugh when I hear it.”
A real laugh! Who knew? And this discovery was “just for starters.”
Wallowing in guilt, I went to see my rabbi and asked if he would take a Jewish confession.
“Well, this is unusual to say the least,” my rabbi advised. “Can you tell me a little about what is bothering you?”
“Sure, here goes. It’s about Trump. Please be patient with me:
-- Please forgive me for misjudging a “gracious and measured” assaulter of women.
-- Please forgive me for berating a “gracious and measured” convicted felon.
-- Please forgive me for believing that “gracious and measured” real estate fraud is wrong.
-- Please forgive me for rejecting Trump’s tens of thousands of “gracious and measured” lies.
-- Please forgive my faulting a “gracious and measured” inciter of an insurrection and who tried (is working) to destroy our democracy.
-- Please forgive me for berating Trump for “gracious and measured” denials that he lost the 2020 election,” and for supporting the “gracious” and measured” insurrections’ call to hang his vice president for certifying the vote.
-- Please forgive me for censuring a “gracious and measured” man’s assault on the law, media, and universities.
The rabbi interrupted: “Berl, how much more have you got?”
“I know you are a busy man,” I replied. “Actually, I am just getting started. Hey, we are dealing with 10 years of gracious and measured behavior. Lots more but I need to get this all off my chest. I desperately need some absolution.”
Rabbi: “There is just so much I can do. You know taking confessions is not part of my portfolio. You’re in the wrong pew. More important, some of the sins you say you committed, I did too. Maybe we should both see someone else. Like a Catholic priest?”
The rabbi called a priest, a friend, who agreed to take our confessions but we would have to wait a little. After the Maher revelations, he said, his confessional booth runneth over.
“Make an appointment,” he urged.
Now, Maher is not the first media/commentator who tried to make peace with Trump. There was Joe Scarborough of “Morning Joe,” who with his wife, Mika Brzezinski, went to Mar-a-Lago while carrying a white flag.
And New York Times Columnist Bret Stephens, who can’t decide whether to be pro or con Trump, wrote in one column, “Done with Never Trumper,” yes, the president was “dishonest but authentic.” Authenticity “trumps” (pun intended) dishonesty.
I wondered whether Al Capone, Bugsy Siegel, John Dillinger, Lucky Luciano, et al, were authentically gracious and measured.
Maher said he and Trump discussed many issues over 2-½ hours: Iran and a possible nuclear treaty, turning Gaza into a Dubai-Riviera (which he endorses; I wondered whether he invested in Gaza), Reagan (Trump said he liked his hair), and other national and international concerns.
“I went into the mine, and that’s what’s down there,” Maher said. “A crazy person doesn’t live in the White House. A person who plays a crazy person on TV a lot lives there…”
“You see, rabbi, Trump is only acting. How was I supposed to know?”
Regarding the 2020 election, Maher told us Trump used the word “lost.”
“I distinctly remember saying, “Wow, I never thought I’d hear you say that.”
Maher explains: “He didn’t get mad. He’s much more self-aware than he lets on in public.”
That’s because he was acting for four years when he told Americans the election was rigged. If only we knew.
Apparently, understanding that some cynics (like me) will be, shall we say, suspicious of Maher’s judgment, he added:
“I am just taking it as a positive that this person exists, because everything I’ve ever not liked about him, was, I swear to God, absent, at least on this night…”
Ah, the light shoneth.
Maher did walk away with a souvenir from his visit. No, not a MAGA hat.
Maher said he had his staff collect and print insults, some 60, Trump had aimed at him. These included: “Stupid, dummy, low-life dummy, sleazebag, sick, sad, stone-cold crazy.” And, holy, moly, the president signed them.
While “stupid and dummy” seem to fit, what’s missing are such words as: gullible, naive, guileless, phony, charlatan, double-dealer.
“Berl,” the rabbi warned me, “you are seeking forgiveness. Don’t make it worse.”
Maher may never have heard Trump laugh before his meeting with him. But when Trump listened to Maher’s post-meeting monologue, he really laughed hilariously. And it wasn’t gracious or measured.
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