By Brandi Hafler
“Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (Psalm 23:6 NIV)
I was 19 years old. I had a two-year-old son, and was just weeks away from the day when I would marry my high school sweetheart.
On this Sunday morning in August of 1992, Pastor Al had reached the end of his sermon and was encouraging anyone who was ready to surrender their life to Jesus Christ to step forward.
I began to feel felt like my heart was being pulled to the altar by invisible ropes, but my feet felt glued to the floor. I physically swayed, as Jesus’s love and my fear battled inside of me.
After a few long, agonizing seconds, the opportunity passed and we were dismissed.
I went home, feeling like I had missed the opportunity of a lifetime.
But this was not the end.
I used to read Psalm 23:6 and see God’s love as always behind me, just following and waiting for me to stop. As if the God who created the universe was slower than my normal pace, and could only catch me if I let Him.
God is patient and gentle, and in my limited mind, this meant that He was passive. I thought that, in that moment when I declined His invitation into a relationship, my rejection would have made Him turn away, dejected, and that He would give up on me forever.
But the Hebrew word that is translated to “will follow me” in Psalm 23:6 in many Bible versions is more aggressive. It is used in multiple stories in the Old Testament where armies “pursued” or “chased after” their enemies.
(Genesis 14, Exodus 14 and Leviticus 26 are a few examples.)
This transforms the picture of God’s love from passively following and waiting to actively pursuing and chasing. His love conquers the enemy. It reclaims the captives. It overtakes and wins back the hearts of those who are lost. “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves…” (Zephaniah 3:17a) and He is relentless.
His relentless love caught me again just days later. I sat across from Pastor Al in his office during a premarital counseling session. He again asked if I was ready to give my life to Jesus.
This time, I said,“Yes”, and in that moment, the goodness and love that had pursued me “all the days of my life” overtook me.
It won that battle with fear that I had been fighting on my own, and was losing. It set me free from the bondage of guilt and shame. It removed scales from my eyes that had me blinded like Paul in Acts 9:18. It gave me new life, and life to the full. (John 10:10)
I could finally see that Jesus had been guiding me to that moment since the day that I was born. I thought that the tragic moment of my rejection would result in the Lover of my soul walking away, leaving me to sit in the painful consequences and shame of my past. Instead, it made the view of God’s grace within my testimony more vivid and powerful.
God does not take all rejections as final. He does not hear the word “no” and turn away with His head hanging low.
In Luke 15:4-7, Jesus reminds us that He is like the shepherd who is willing to step away from 99 of His sheep to find the one who is lost.
Like people, sheep get lost because they have taken their eyes off of the Shepherd and allowed themselves to be distracted by less important things. He keeps searching for and pursuing that sheep until He finds it, joyfully carries it home, and accepts it back into the flock with the others.
We have a God of second, third and 45th chances, and He delights in giving us those chances. Then, He takes our past, our sins, our regrets, and even the moments when we denied or rejected Him, and He uses them for our good. (Romans 8:28) He turns them into something beautiful. (Isaiah 61:3)
Where are you right now? Are you still trying to outrun God? Do you feel unworthy of all that He offers you? Do you feel that missed opportunities mean that you are without hope or a future? It is not too late! He has not given up on you. Stop running and let His goodness and love overtake you. It will be the greatest surrender of your life.
—————
Brandi Hafler is the Connections Pastor at All Shores Wesleyan Church in Spring Lake. She loves spending time with her family, telling stories, and wearing silly socks. You can read more of her writing online at FoundUpon TheWaves.com.
“Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (Psalm 23:6 NIV)
I was 19 years old. I had a two-year-old son, and was just weeks away from the day when I would marry my high school sweetheart.
On this Sunday morning in August of 1992, Pastor Al had reached the end of his sermon and was encouraging anyone who was ready to surrender their life to Jesus Christ to step forward.
I began to feel felt like my heart was being pulled to the altar by invisible ropes, but my feet felt glued to the floor. I physically swayed, as Jesus’s love and my fear battled inside of me.
After a few long, agonizing seconds, the opportunity passed and we were dismissed.
I went home, feeling like I had missed the opportunity of a lifetime.
But this was not the end.
I used to read Psalm 23:6 and see God’s love as always behind me, just following and waiting for me to stop. As if the God who created the universe was slower than my normal pace, and could only catch me if I let Him.
God is patient and gentle, and in my limited mind, this meant that He was passive. I thought that, in that moment when I declined His invitation into a relationship, my rejection would have made Him turn away, dejected, and that He would give up on me forever.
But the Hebrew word that is translated to “will follow me” in Psalm 23:6 in many Bible versions is more aggressive. It is used in multiple stories in the Old Testament where armies “pursued” or “chased after” their enemies.
(Genesis 14, Exodus 14 and Leviticus 26 are a few examples.)
This transforms the picture of God’s love from passively following and waiting to actively pursuing and chasing. His love conquers the enemy. It reclaims the captives. It overtakes and wins back the hearts of those who are lost. “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves…” (Zephaniah 3:17a) and He is relentless.
His relentless love caught me again just days later. I sat across from Pastor Al in his office during a premarital counseling session. He again asked if I was ready to give my life to Jesus.
This time, I said,“Yes”, and in that moment, the goodness and love that had pursued me “all the days of my life” overtook me.
It won that battle with fear that I had been fighting on my own, and was losing. It set me free from the bondage of guilt and shame. It removed scales from my eyes that had me blinded like Paul in Acts 9:18. It gave me new life, and life to the full. (John 10:10)
I could finally see that Jesus had been guiding me to that moment since the day that I was born. I thought that the tragic moment of my rejection would result in the Lover of my soul walking away, leaving me to sit in the painful consequences and shame of my past. Instead, it made the view of God’s grace within my testimony more vivid and powerful.
God does not take all rejections as final. He does not hear the word “no” and turn away with His head hanging low.
In Luke 15:4-7, Jesus reminds us that He is like the shepherd who is willing to step away from 99 of His sheep to find the one who is lost.
Like people, sheep get lost because they have taken their eyes off of the Shepherd and allowed themselves to be distracted by less important things. He keeps searching for and pursuing that sheep until He finds it, joyfully carries it home, and accepts it back into the flock with the others.
We have a God of second, third and 45th chances, and He delights in giving us those chances. Then, He takes our past, our sins, our regrets, and even the moments when we denied or rejected Him, and He uses them for our good. (Romans 8:28) He turns them into something beautiful. (Isaiah 61:3)
Where are you right now? Are you still trying to outrun God? Do you feel unworthy of all that He offers you? Do you feel that missed opportunities mean that you are without hope or a future? It is not too late! He has not given up on you. Stop running and let His goodness and love overtake you. It will be the greatest surrender of your life.
—————
Brandi Hafler is the Connections Pastor at All Shores Wesleyan Church in Spring Lake. She loves spending time with her family, telling stories, and wearing silly socks. You can read more of her writing online at FoundUpon TheWaves.com.
