By Lori Buiteweg
Lori Buiteweg holds degrees in Economics and Spanish from the University of Michigan, and a law degree from Wayne State University. She and her husband, Tom Buiteweg, have lived in Ann Arbor since 1990 and together raised two children who attended the Ann Arbor Public Schools and the University of Michigan for undergraduate and graduate school. Buiteweg initially practiced multiple types of law, including landlord-tenant and insurance defense. In 2001, she joined Nichols, Sacks, Slank, Sendelbach, Buiteweg & Solomon, P.C. and since then, has focused exclusively on complex family law cases.
Rumor has it you are retiring soon. Is that true?
Yes and no. I will continue to practice, but only as a mediator or arbitrator, capitalizing on the leadership skills I acquired during my fifteen years in state and local bar leadership. The countless hours I spent in seminars training to become president of the state bar in 2015-16 were priceless . . . I learned tips and tricks for obtaining consensus amongst strong-minded people. And my 36 years of experience in the courtroom will help, too!
I will also remain active in the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers; take more time to help my parents who are in their mid-80s and still live in my childhood home in Grand Blanc, Michigan; and travel to Uniform Law Commission meetings with Tom, who is the Treasurer of that organization. We also hope to explore the countries where I put pushpins on my foam wall map when I am not spending time tending to my beloved gardens.
Who has been your greatest mentor?
There were so many! Rather than name individual names for fear of missing someone – because I have had so many - I would rather list things they said that made me stop and re-think the way I looked at my family law cases:
• When I was too invested in a client’s position, someone said to me, “People tend to find mates who are a lot like them.” Another colleague phrased it, “S/he cut him from the herd.” I stopped thinking of my client as so perfect and blameless and realized I did not create my client’s situation – they did, and there would only be so much I could do to fix it.
• When my client was stuck on needing a particular parenting time plan, a child development expert told me, “Any parenting plan is fine if both parents agree to it – it’s the disagreement and litigation over it that damages the children.” I suppose you could call that the “King Solomon” lesson.
• When my client did not think a proposed outcome was fair, a mediator said, “Fair is where you buy cotton candy. What is equitable is in the eye of the beholder.”
• When fault was the sticking point, a mediator quipped, “Pinpointing fault is like peeling back the layers of an onion…the more you peel, the more you cry, and in the end, you just end up with a peeled onion.”
What career advice would you give your younger self?
Consider the benefit of therapy before you develop self-destructive patterns, like workaholism. Being a workaholic is no fun for you or your family, and you all deserve better. As we know, lawyers in general suffer from various mental health issues and it is a sign of strength, not weakness, to have the support of a good therapist.
Can you share a fun fact or something most people do not know about you?
My classmates from Grand Blanc High School voted me, “Most Serious” and “Most Likely to be President of the PTO.” LOL! I had hoped they would see me as the “Most Likely to Succeed!” But my classmates were spot-on: the work we do affects the lives of others for years to come, if not their entire lifetime, and sometimes beyond. That requires a serious outlook on things. And while I was not in the PTO, I enjoyed being involved in the schools, from writing a screenplay for a second-grade class, to directing traffic at Pioneer football games for the marching band.
Favorite part of your career?
Undoubtedly, my contributions to the profession at the state level, including:
• Helping to create the “CC320” which is the verified financial statement we use in family law to greatly reduce the amount of costly discovery needed to learn both parties’ assets and debts;
• Participating in the drafting of MCR 3.222 and 3.223 which are the court rules regarding uncontested divorce proceedings and collaborative law;
• Continuing to serve on the state bar’s public policy committee, where we examine proposed new and amended: court rules; rules of professional responsibility; and legislation affecting the administration of justice and access to justice; and
• Sitting as a subject matter expert on a Supreme Court task force creating examinations that will enable non-lawyers to obtain licenses to engage in limited scope legal work.
Lori Buiteweg holds degrees in Economics and Spanish from the University of Michigan, and a law degree from Wayne State University. She and her husband, Tom Buiteweg, have lived in Ann Arbor since 1990 and together raised two children who attended the Ann Arbor Public Schools and the University of Michigan for undergraduate and graduate school. Buiteweg initially practiced multiple types of law, including landlord-tenant and insurance defense. In 2001, she joined Nichols, Sacks, Slank, Sendelbach, Buiteweg & Solomon, P.C. and since then, has focused exclusively on complex family law cases.
Rumor has it you are retiring soon. Is that true?
Yes and no. I will continue to practice, but only as a mediator or arbitrator, capitalizing on the leadership skills I acquired during my fifteen years in state and local bar leadership. The countless hours I spent in seminars training to become president of the state bar in 2015-16 were priceless . . . I learned tips and tricks for obtaining consensus amongst strong-minded people. And my 36 years of experience in the courtroom will help, too!
I will also remain active in the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers; take more time to help my parents who are in their mid-80s and still live in my childhood home in Grand Blanc, Michigan; and travel to Uniform Law Commission meetings with Tom, who is the Treasurer of that organization. We also hope to explore the countries where I put pushpins on my foam wall map when I am not spending time tending to my beloved gardens.
Who has been your greatest mentor?
There were so many! Rather than name individual names for fear of missing someone – because I have had so many - I would rather list things they said that made me stop and re-think the way I looked at my family law cases:
• When I was too invested in a client’s position, someone said to me, “People tend to find mates who are a lot like them.” Another colleague phrased it, “S/he cut him from the herd.” I stopped thinking of my client as so perfect and blameless and realized I did not create my client’s situation – they did, and there would only be so much I could do to fix it.
• When my client was stuck on needing a particular parenting time plan, a child development expert told me, “Any parenting plan is fine if both parents agree to it – it’s the disagreement and litigation over it that damages the children.” I suppose you could call that the “King Solomon” lesson.
• When my client did not think a proposed outcome was fair, a mediator said, “Fair is where you buy cotton candy. What is equitable is in the eye of the beholder.”
• When fault was the sticking point, a mediator quipped, “Pinpointing fault is like peeling back the layers of an onion…the more you peel, the more you cry, and in the end, you just end up with a peeled onion.”
What career advice would you give your younger self?
Consider the benefit of therapy before you develop self-destructive patterns, like workaholism. Being a workaholic is no fun for you or your family, and you all deserve better. As we know, lawyers in general suffer from various mental health issues and it is a sign of strength, not weakness, to have the support of a good therapist.
Can you share a fun fact or something most people do not know about you?
My classmates from Grand Blanc High School voted me, “Most Serious” and “Most Likely to be President of the PTO.” LOL! I had hoped they would see me as the “Most Likely to Succeed!” But my classmates were spot-on: the work we do affects the lives of others for years to come, if not their entire lifetime, and sometimes beyond. That requires a serious outlook on things. And while I was not in the PTO, I enjoyed being involved in the schools, from writing a screenplay for a second-grade class, to directing traffic at Pioneer football games for the marching band.
Favorite part of your career?
Undoubtedly, my contributions to the profession at the state level, including:
• Helping to create the “CC320” which is the verified financial statement we use in family law to greatly reduce the amount of costly discovery needed to learn both parties’ assets and debts;
• Participating in the drafting of MCR 3.222 and 3.223 which are the court rules regarding uncontested divorce proceedings and collaborative law;
• Continuing to serve on the state bar’s public policy committee, where we examine proposed new and amended: court rules; rules of professional responsibility; and legislation affecting the administration of justice and access to justice; and
• Sitting as a subject matter expert on a Supreme Court task force creating examinations that will enable non-lawyers to obtain licenses to engage in limited scope legal work.
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