Ideas that sink or swim

By Ted Streuli The Daily Record Newswire I was out sailing a few weeks ago and got to thinking about those early sailors, the ones who looked upon the ocean and decided to find out if there was something on the other side or if they'd just fall off the edge. At first I thought they must have been pretty brave. But then I thought about all the sailors I know, and I can see it: Five guys sitting on the deck behind the boathouse one afternoon, looking out at the water while quickly depleting a case of Anchor Steam. "Hey fellas," one guy says. "I got an idea!" And the next thing you know there's a flotilla headed for the edge of the world and guys are progressing from "This is gonna be awesome" to "It sounded like a good idea at the time." I often wonder how many businesses were launched in a similar fashion. For every entrepreneur who made a killing with a Pet Rock, Fruit Roll-Ups or Elf on the Shelf, hundreds sat on their patios depleting their retirement accounts with conversations that began, "Hey fellas, I got an idea!" Patent attorneys know this. But entrepreneurs are the ultimate optimists. They see a bottle of bacon-infused bourbon on the shelf at Byron's and think, "Wow! Wish I'd thought of that!" They never look at Clairol's Touch of Yogurt Shampoo and think, "Whew! Glad that wasn't me!" Since I was little I have dreamed up business schemes. When other 11-year-olds were mowing lawns, I was filming movies with a Super 8 camera and convincing friends to buy tickets. I've kicked around day spas for men, vertical food courts and baseball travel clubs, but fortunately for my 401(k) I usually come to my senses before I start rounding up investors. Here's a chance to test your entrepreneurial prowess. The list below includes some real products and some stuff I just made up. Your goal is to figure out which is which. The answers are at the end. Don't cheat there's no prize anyway. 1. Play-Doh cologne. A 1-ounce bottle sells for $20 on Amazon, where the manufacturer claims it's hand-blended in the classic European tradition. 2. BabyKeeper hanging harness. It's happened to all parents; you're wearing your baby in your designer Baby Bjorn and have to use a public restroom. Eek! No germ-free place to park Junior. Pull out the BabyKeeper and you can safely hang him from the top of the door. $39.99 at mommyessentials.com. 3. Baconnaise bacon-flavored mayonnaise, $11.50 for a 15-ounce jar because, to quote the manufacturer, everything should taste like bacon. 4. Gold spray paint for food. Dinner guests will be, uh, surprised, when you serve gold tomatoes or a gold steak. Made by Esslack, a 100-milliliter bottle sells for $33. Also available in silver, red and blue. 5. Whipped Lightning whipahol. Alcohol-infused whipped cream in a can for topping shots, Irish coffee, whatever. Available in 10 flavors, including white chocolate raspberry and hazelnut espresso, it sells for $17 per can. 6. Toasty Feet. Non-electric insoles made of Space Age, NASA-developed nanotech insulation keep your feet at a constant 72 degrees whether it's January or July. $25 per pair. 7. Doggles. Sunglasses for your dog. $12.50 per pair, and the British chap who came up with them has sold more than $3 million worth. 8. Catching Zs. An alarm clock on wheels that leaps off the nightstand and runs around the house bleating away at 80 decibels until you get out of bed and catch it. $14.50. T=real product: 1-T; 2-T; 3-T; 4-T; 5-T; 6-T; 7-T; 8-T Now, do you remember the Apple Newton? Published: Fri, Aug 08, 2014