The other day I walked into a small bagel and donut shop to pick up some bagels. There I noticed a father and daughter sitting at a table. Neither were talking with each other as they each sat there looking at their phones. Then as I got in the car with my bagels, I noticed both of them leaving the restaurant still on their phones. I felt sad as I watched this. There was no emotional interaction or conversation between them.
We now live in a society where social technology seems to have taken over our minds and hearts. There are many positive things about our advanced social, electronic technology. It can help people connect with each other and give us information about anything at any moment of the day. But the danger of social technology is that it can possess our minds and hearts.
There is so much violence that can fill the minds and hearts of all of us including our children. When this keeps happening, we become over stimulated and over impulsive. Children can grow up experiencing violence with guns from two years old until old age. There is such an emotional bombardment of violence that we will witness on our phones, iPad, Kindles, and television. The effect of all this is an increase in violent actions and behavior.
The world will keep getting more violent unless there are strict rules made to prohibit weapons to be purchased by unstable people. The right to bear arms in today’s society is not the same as it was when our Constitution was written. The more weapons become accessible to everyone the more our whole society is in danger of being hurt or killed by emotionally unstable and emotionally unhealthy people.
We minimize the importance of positive interaction with others. We minimize the constant publicity of violence on our newscasts and on our social devices. Violence and negativity become more popular than positive stories. Negative actions make better news than positive stories.
We live in a world that creates more danger to everyone with easy access to weapons. Nuclear power and nuclear weapons surround the world and are easily accessible by world leaders. To carry a gun becomes so easily justified by many people. This simply puts more people in danger and creates a negative attitude about life.
An overstimulated society is not a healthy society. Each of us need love and affirmation. None of us need a steady diet of observing crime and killings. But all of us could use a consistent experience of love and affirmation.
Love and affirmation happen when I speak positively about someone. Love and affirmation loosen my grasp on negativity. It also helps me to become less judgmental and condemning. But to have love and affirmation, I must first take the time to be loving and affirming toward others, especially in my family and friends and everyone I experience throughout each day.
Each family needs to have some positive interaction with each other every day without distractions from social media. When social media is used to interact with each other, that is a positive use of social media. Each evening we interact with our son and daughter in law and their 19-month-old son who live in a different state. It is so refreshing and interactive. Social media is positive when it is used for connecting with other people.
The solution for less violence in our world is to positively connect with other people through kind words and actions. But this must first start in our family, Then, it must carry over to our friends. And finally, this positive, loving interaction gets extended to everyone who comes into our presence.
Each of us has the power to make the world a safer and better planet by being loving, affirming and positive. Emotional impulsiveness and emotional instability can be lessened by gentle kindness and interaction with other people. Combine this with a daily dose of prayerful meditation and we begin to let go of negativity and the need to condemn others or hurt others by words and actions.
As I started writing this article, I am aware that I began with describing a lot of negativities in an almost condemning manner. I realize that condemning without giving a positive solution will never be helpful. There is always a solution but it must be practiced by me first. I must always be loving, affirming, and kind to everyone. I must always take daily time to be quietly reflective and receptive toward God each day. This is why I need a lot of time for quiet refection and meditation. But I also need to lovingly interact with anyone who is in my presence.
Life becomes really simple when I do not distract myself from what is important: To be more loving, more kind, and more quietly reflective. These are the people that change the world and help the world to become more loving and safer for all. Lord, help me to be this way.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com.
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