Counselor's Corner: Back to the routine of life

Fred Cavaiani

Spring break is over for many. Holiday and family celebrations are completed when Easter or other religious holidays are over. Spring vacations have ended for many. The end of Easter celebrations or other religious holidays, whatever faith one might profess, push us back into the routine of life. Kids from all ages return to school. The return to work is a necessity for many. But the routine of life should not hinder our emotional and spiritual growth. This is always surfacing inside of us. The best routine of life is to pay attention to this spiritual and emotional energy.

It becomes a familiar pattern to let the routine of life become a distraction from what we need to feel. Each moment of life is meant to be a moment of emotional and spiritual growth. When we associate with people who want to share their inner feelings with us, we find a refreshing, emotional and spiritual connection with these humble and genuine women and men. There is no “routine” when we are humble and loving toward others.

Boring routines disappear when I spend quiet time with God and when I allow other people to share their inner self with me. When I keep rushing to the next moment, I lose the wisdom of the present moment. When I am with people in the present moment who seek a personal and loving relationship with God, I slow down and become positively present to other people. A sense of personal joy and wisdom brings me into a deeper connection with other people.

I had an amazing experience on Saturday evening. I attended the Easter Vigil with five other people whom I have known for years. We all agreed to go together to celebrate another person’s confirmation that evening. The Easter Vigil often takes many hours and this one was much longer than others because there were so many people present. Yet, I was not bored. It was because I was worshipping with people who are my friends and who have had a positive and joyful experience of God. What a blessing this kind and loving group of people were giving me by their holy and loving presence. I felt so inspired and motivated to open up to God in a deeper and personal matter. Their loving presence inspired me in a profound manner.

There are no boring “routines of life” when I look for God in each moment of life. Being with these five “holy persons” anchored me into an atmosphere of love, acceptance, and a desire to experience God a in deeper and more personal manner. I felt such a profound connection with these five people who I know have been on such a spiritual, loving, and positive emotional journey through life. All of us sitting there together in this beautiful church for more than three hours became such a peaceful and inspiring experience. To be with these five people whom I love and respect was such a positive, emotional, and spiritual experience. What a blessing. When God, love, and profound friendship are present, there are no routines in life but only a simple presence of God, love, friendship, and spirituality. This was an evening that I will never forget. I drove home at this late hour with a peaceful experience of gratitude and a profound experience of God. What a gift this evening was for me.


Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan.. His e-mail address is Fredcavi@

Subscribe to the Legal News!
Full access to public notices, articles, columns, archives, statistics, calendar and more
Day Pass Only $4.95!
One-County $80/year
Three-County & Full Pass also available