Fred Cavaiani
Often, I will attend a 5.p.m. mass on Saturdays. As I look around, I notice how old most people seem to be at this particular mass. I suspect this happens in many different denominations because everyone grows older. But now I realize that I am one of those old people and belong more at the top of the list of old people than at the bottom of the list. But as I look around, I become grateful for being old. It helps me realize more clearly what life is really all about. The time on this earth is quite short. When I look at history over the centuries, I realize more how short life is and how important it is for me to realize that I need a very simple theology and philosophy of life. As I write this article on October 13, which is the date of my wedding I think of my beloved wife who died last November 3 of cancer. She had cancer four times. We were married 50 years last October 13. I miss her joyful and helpful presence every day. But I also realize that the blessings of being older become a blessing to understand the purpose of this short life: To discover an experience of a Loving God and to be grateful for my existence, which will lead to an eternal life of joy and happiness. To experience God, I simply need to slow down and become more gently reflective and loving. It seems easier to do this now that I am older than when I was younger. My physical energy helps me to slow down and become more reflective.
There is so much inner peace when I walk through life in a gentle and slow manner. I do not have to rush anywhere. As I take my time each day, God becomes so very real to me. Gratitude can take hold of me. An experience and awareness of a loving God becomes deeper. Doors open for me because people see me with a cane and seem to act so very kind. I can still write articles for a number of papers, which is such a blessing to me because it helps me to look at life in a deeper and more positive manner.
Becoming older helps me to accept my limitations and discover the purpose of my life. Each of us could die at any minute from some accident. And living to an older age helps me, and probably most people, to realize that God is always present in my life at each moment of every day. Because I am older, I can appreciate more my history and the presence of good and kind people in my life. I realize that life is meant to be a gentle walk into the loving presence of God. All these principles and insights have always been present to me even from childhood. But now, in my old age, I take them seriously. I can see the goodness in people in a clear and positive manner. I can open up to the emotional pain in my life so I can heal. I do not have to blame anyone for anything. I simply have to embrace the pain and joy of my life and this embrace brings God closer to me and love and wisdom closer to me. I now realize the uselessness of anger, criticism, jealous and resentments. These all put me into an emotional and spiritual prison. When I embrace what I am really feeling when I experience my brokenness, my emotional pain, I experience God. I experience peace and I find myself walking through life with God.
I now appreciate even more the privilege to be with others who share their inner self with me and can admit their brokenness, their emotional struggles and pain and addictions.
The humility and honesty of becoming old is such a marvelous, consoling journey. It pushes me more toward God. It helps me realize what is really important in life: to experience God and to be always loving toward everyone. Because my body moves a lot slower now, my heart and mind will slow down and help me to gently open up to more reflection and to being more loving in my thoughts, words and actions.
It can be so easy to complicate life. But when I walk slowly in the present moment, life will become very simple because I am slowly experiencing life instead of rushing to the next moment or living in the past or worrying about the future. I have no control over the past or the future. When I simply live in this moment in a gentle, relaxed and receptive manner, God happens, love happens, peace and joy happen.
Life is very simple. As I become older, I become more grateful and more aware of the goodness that is all around me. God, Love, Kindness, Reflection and Meditation are the basic principles of life. Getting older helps me realize and embrace this more. But this will also happen at any age if I so choose. But at this senior age I clearly see the importance of the blessings of being old.
—————
Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan.
There is so much inner peace when I walk through life in a gentle and slow manner. I do not have to rush anywhere. As I take my time each day, God becomes so very real to me. Gratitude can take hold of me. An experience and awareness of a loving God becomes deeper. Doors open for me because people see me with a cane and seem to act so very kind. I can still write articles for a number of papers, which is such a blessing to me because it helps me to look at life in a deeper and more positive manner.
Becoming older helps me to accept my limitations and discover the purpose of my life. Each of us could die at any minute from some accident. And living to an older age helps me, and probably most people, to realize that God is always present in my life at each moment of every day. Because I am older, I can appreciate more my history and the presence of good and kind people in my life. I realize that life is meant to be a gentle walk into the loving presence of God. All these principles and insights have always been present to me even from childhood. But now, in my old age, I take them seriously. I can see the goodness in people in a clear and positive manner. I can open up to the emotional pain in my life so I can heal. I do not have to blame anyone for anything. I simply have to embrace the pain and joy of my life and this embrace brings God closer to me and love and wisdom closer to me. I now realize the uselessness of anger, criticism, jealous and resentments. These all put me into an emotional and spiritual prison. When I embrace what I am really feeling when I experience my brokenness, my emotional pain, I experience God. I experience peace and I find myself walking through life with God.
I now appreciate even more the privilege to be with others who share their inner self with me and can admit their brokenness, their emotional struggles and pain and addictions.
The humility and honesty of becoming old is such a marvelous, consoling journey. It pushes me more toward God. It helps me realize what is really important in life: to experience God and to be always loving toward everyone. Because my body moves a lot slower now, my heart and mind will slow down and help me to gently open up to more reflection and to being more loving in my thoughts, words and actions.
It can be so easy to complicate life. But when I walk slowly in the present moment, life will become very simple because I am slowly experiencing life instead of rushing to the next moment or living in the past or worrying about the future. I have no control over the past or the future. When I simply live in this moment in a gentle, relaxed and receptive manner, God happens, love happens, peace and joy happen.
Life is very simple. As I become older, I become more grateful and more aware of the goodness that is all around me. God, Love, Kindness, Reflection and Meditation are the basic principles of life. Getting older helps me realize and embrace this more. But this will also happen at any age if I so choose. But at this senior age I clearly see the importance of the blessings of being old.
—————
Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan.
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