By Berl Falbaum
As in Shakespeare’s tragedies, from time to time, we need some comic relief from the state of the world.
The Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute’s fashion gala held May 4 provided some — at least for me.
I had no idea how badly dressed I was, despite the fact that my wife continually advised me accordingly. I always remind her that I was way ahead of my time when I wore torn blue jeans, which later became a multi-million-dollar fashion industry. The holes in my clothes were sexier than what they were selling. We could have been billionaires.
Below is a short list of what some of the most famous on the planet wore to the event. The quotes come from fashion experts and guests.
Beyoncé, best-selling musical artist: She wore a skin-tone mesh base embellished with a diamond skeleton that “traveled all the way down to her fingers.”
It was described as “jaw-dropping.” I guess that’s why it left me speechless.
Singer, rapper, actor Janelle Monáe’s wild Christian Siriano gown combined electrical cables and circuit board gadgetry with green moss and butterflies for a commentary on nature and technology.
I learned that accessories in her purse, like fuses and fertilizers, did not come with the outfit.
Singer, actress Rihanna displayed a “wild gold and silver metallic look” from Maison Margiela (from who else?) and it came with a guarantee not to rust.
Puerto Rican singer, rapper Bad Bunny — my favorite rapper name — showed up “boldly” in a Zara look (that’s what I thought). He combined prosthetics and make up to make him look like a much older man (not an older bunny.)
He explained: “It’s getting part of my life, always trying to do something different and this day of the Met is a perfect day to explore and be creative and express yourself in a different way, and that’s what I’m doing tonight.”
Good for you, Bad, Bad Bunny.
Global media icon and entrepreneur Kim Kardashian featured a “hyper-realistic body sculpt.” Not just realistic but hyper-realistic.
Her dress was designed in collaboration with artist Allen Jones, who she called “one of my favorites.”
“So, we took his body plates ... this is a mold of a model from the ‘60s and he painted on top of it,” Kardashian said.
Kardashian said she found out that her sister planned to wear a comparable outfit, so the similar looks were not a total surprise.
Jones must have had two left-over body molds in his studio.
Podcaster and model Emma Chamberlain wore “a custom Mugler” that was reminiscent of Van Gogh. She did not cut off her ear for the occasion.
Reality TV star Kylie Jenner’s dress replicated Venus de Milo “with her half-undone dress, and a naked illusion bodice.” Jenner did not cut off her arms.
Actress/singer Rachel Zegler, came dressed as Lady Jane Grey who was executed after only nine days as Queen of England. Zegler did not attend headless but she did wear a blindfold designed by none other than Prabal Gurung — yes, that Prabal Gurung.
Sabine Getty, socialite and jewelry designer, wore a second-skin (as opposed to first-skin) custom featuring a corset hand-painted with a woman’s torso and a set of hands. I want to write that you have to look at the photo to understand that, but that’s not gonna help either.
R&B singer and songwriter SZA’s (not a typo) dress was “crafted” from 100 yards — the length of a football field — of vintage tulle (?), taffeta (?), silk faille (?) and beadwork on lace, all “sourced from eBay.” Big deal! I buy from eBay, too.
In my research, I discovered that one of the most complicated issues was creating the seating chart. The process begins months before the event. It includes vetting all the guests and making sure those not sleeping with each other anymore are not seated at the same table.
Hey, my Uncle Joe is still mad at my wife and me after many decades for sitting him, at our wedding, next to “deadbeat” cousin Eddie who owed him five bucks.
The theme of this year’s Meta Gala was “Fashion is Art.” The Met encouraged guests to “express their own relationship to fashion as an embodied art form and celebrate the countless depictions of the dressed body throughout art history.”
Believe it or not, that’s just what the guy at my favorite thrift store told me.
————————
Berl Falbaum is a veteran journalist and author of 12 books.
As in Shakespeare’s tragedies, from time to time, we need some comic relief from the state of the world.
The Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute’s fashion gala held May 4 provided some — at least for me.
I had no idea how badly dressed I was, despite the fact that my wife continually advised me accordingly. I always remind her that I was way ahead of my time when I wore torn blue jeans, which later became a multi-million-dollar fashion industry. The holes in my clothes were sexier than what they were selling. We could have been billionaires.
Below is a short list of what some of the most famous on the planet wore to the event. The quotes come from fashion experts and guests.
Beyoncé, best-selling musical artist: She wore a skin-tone mesh base embellished with a diamond skeleton that “traveled all the way down to her fingers.”
It was described as “jaw-dropping.” I guess that’s why it left me speechless.
Singer, rapper, actor Janelle Monáe’s wild Christian Siriano gown combined electrical cables and circuit board gadgetry with green moss and butterflies for a commentary on nature and technology.
I learned that accessories in her purse, like fuses and fertilizers, did not come with the outfit.
Singer, actress Rihanna displayed a “wild gold and silver metallic look” from Maison Margiela (from who else?) and it came with a guarantee not to rust.
Puerto Rican singer, rapper Bad Bunny — my favorite rapper name — showed up “boldly” in a Zara look (that’s what I thought). He combined prosthetics and make up to make him look like a much older man (not an older bunny.)
He explained: “It’s getting part of my life, always trying to do something different and this day of the Met is a perfect day to explore and be creative and express yourself in a different way, and that’s what I’m doing tonight.”
Good for you, Bad, Bad Bunny.
Global media icon and entrepreneur Kim Kardashian featured a “hyper-realistic body sculpt.” Not just realistic but hyper-realistic.
Her dress was designed in collaboration with artist Allen Jones, who she called “one of my favorites.”
“So, we took his body plates ... this is a mold of a model from the ‘60s and he painted on top of it,” Kardashian said.
Kardashian said she found out that her sister planned to wear a comparable outfit, so the similar looks were not a total surprise.
Jones must have had two left-over body molds in his studio.
Podcaster and model Emma Chamberlain wore “a custom Mugler” that was reminiscent of Van Gogh. She did not cut off her ear for the occasion.
Reality TV star Kylie Jenner’s dress replicated Venus de Milo “with her half-undone dress, and a naked illusion bodice.” Jenner did not cut off her arms.
Actress/singer Rachel Zegler, came dressed as Lady Jane Grey who was executed after only nine days as Queen of England. Zegler did not attend headless but she did wear a blindfold designed by none other than Prabal Gurung — yes, that Prabal Gurung.
Sabine Getty, socialite and jewelry designer, wore a second-skin (as opposed to first-skin) custom featuring a corset hand-painted with a woman’s torso and a set of hands. I want to write that you have to look at the photo to understand that, but that’s not gonna help either.
R&B singer and songwriter SZA’s (not a typo) dress was “crafted” from 100 yards — the length of a football field — of vintage tulle (?), taffeta (?), silk faille (?) and beadwork on lace, all “sourced from eBay.” Big deal! I buy from eBay, too.
In my research, I discovered that one of the most complicated issues was creating the seating chart. The process begins months before the event. It includes vetting all the guests and making sure those not sleeping with each other anymore are not seated at the same table.
Hey, my Uncle Joe is still mad at my wife and me after many decades for sitting him, at our wedding, next to “deadbeat” cousin Eddie who owed him five bucks.
The theme of this year’s Meta Gala was “Fashion is Art.” The Met encouraged guests to “express their own relationship to fashion as an embodied art form and celebrate the countless depictions of the dressed body throughout art history.”
Believe it or not, that’s just what the guy at my favorite thrift store told me.
————————
Berl Falbaum is a veteran journalist and author of 12 books.
