Counselor's Corner: Celebrating parents

Fred Cavaiani

This year we celebrated Mother’s Day on May 11 and Father’s Day on June 15. These  two days each year remind us of our past. For many, the past influence of parents brings such joyful memories. For others there are also painful memories. On these two memorable days, our hearts will feel both gratitude and pain. We are grateful for our existence and the goodness of our parents and grandparents. We can also feel pain for mistakes made by parents and grandparents. All of this is part of the human situation. We will feel throughout our short life on this planet,  joy and sorrow. It is part of the human situation, which is caused by positive experiences of love and negative experiences of love. A person, who lives life well, becomes grateful for the many ways they have felt loved by their parents because those positive influences stay with us and help us to see goodness in life and in people.  This person, who lives life well will also open up and allow  themselves to feel the pain of the past so they can heal from their painful experiences. This embrace of pain and embrace of joy and gratitude help each of us to go deeper into ourselves and deeper into an experience of God. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day help each of us to embrace the goodness of love with gratitude  and to embrace the pain and sorrow we may have experienced so we can heal.

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are celebrations of remembering the goodness of people. This memory of the goodness and love of mothers and fathers is so important. It inspires everyone  to look for goodness and love. When someone wishes us Happy Father’s Day or Happy Mother’s Day, a moment of love and kindness becomes shared.  

These two days each year, along with birthdays and other gatherings of kindness and love, are absolutely necessary to help each of us return to the fundamental principle of life: everyone needs to receive love and everyone needs to give love to others. To be kind and loving in each moment of life brings us into a state of happiness and inner freedom. When we can allow ourselves to remember when we felt loved by others, parents, relatives, friends and acquaintances, we discover a moment of a loving connection, a feeling of gratitude and an insight of how life should be and can be. This then helps us to realize that in moments of quiet and being alone, I am still being loved by God. This quiet, alone time can help me focus and believe that there is always a loving God in my life. When I am loving, my heart, mind and soul get to experience God.

When I read statements on Facebook about  people  remembering their parents and friends with a feeling of love and gratitude,  I become inspired. It is like I am being showered with an experience of love. 
Even the national news has learned to spend some time remembering and sharing moments of love being expressed in positive and helpful actions and words.  

Love is always in the air. I just need to breath into it and allow myself to see love and experience love. It becomes a wonderful way to live and increases my faith into a positive experience of God and an awareness that that this short life will bring me into an eternal life of joy and peace with an always loving God and with so many loving and kind people that I have known. Each moment of life is meant to be a God moment of love that will bring me into an eternal moment of joy and peace. Life becomes so simple when I am kind and loving because I then will see and experience love everywhere and in everyone.

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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage counselor and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeast Michigan.


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