COUNSELOR'S CORNER: The adventure of the journey

By Fred Cavaiani All of us are on a journey. There are promises to keep and people to meet. There are goals to reach and places to go. And then there is the oft-repeated phrase of "preparing for retirement." Financial advisors stay in business to help people "prepare for retirement." Insurance agents do the same thing. Both are necessary. Yet the real journey in life is not so important. It is the "adventure" of the journey. Last Saturday night my wife and I had dinner with a close friend. He told us that it isn't the journey of life that is so important. It is the "adventure" of the journey. This is a profound observation. Each moment of life should be an "adventure." Adventure means coming toward something. It comes from two Latin words ad and venire which means 'to come toward.' When I come toward something I have to pay attention to it and focus on what is happening. When I do this I will see things in a novel and exciting manner. To 'come toward something' is to experience something as it really is, not as I want it to be. Adventure on our journey is to embrace the meaning of the moment. When I pay attention to another person I am enriched. When I focus on a flower or observe the autumn colors on a tree it becomes an adventure. When I live in the present moment instead of worrying what will happen in the next moment, wisdom enters me. Everything becomes new and exciting. There are really no boring moments in life. But there are many empty moments which result from a lack of looking for the adventure in the present moment. When we avoid experiencing what is within us and what is around us, we avoid adventure. People who have a spiritual life often have a realization that God 'comes toward each person' in the daily events of life. The biggest struggle for most of us is to not realize this 'coming toward us' of God in each event and experience. We become immune to the meaning and divine experience of the moment. It is because we pay superficial attention to the moment upon us. Every person, every part of nature and everything that men and women create is imbued with Divinity. "Earth is filled with heaven and every common bush afire with God. But only he who sees takes off his shoes. The Rest 'round and pluck blackberries" (Elizabeth Barrett Browning). Gerard Manly Hopkins says it another way "The world is filled with the grandeur of God." When there is little adventure in our journey through life we become immune to what is happening in the present moment be it pain or joy, excitement or silence. Every moment is filled with adventure. There is Something or Someone 'coming toward us' in every moment but we are not paying attention to this Presence. It is this adventure of the moment that calls out to us. We need to realize that there is adventure in every moment. Our biggest struggle is dulling our senses and our intellect to what is happening now. Listen to the adventure of the moment Experience it. Pay attention to it. It is not just a journey we are traveling in this life. It is an adventure. We just forget how adventuresome each moment really is. I forget, you forget, everybody forgets. Just because we forget and lose our focus it doesn't mean that there is not an adventure happening. Pay attention to what is "coming toward you." It will change your life. ---------------- Fred Cavaiani is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and Henry Ford Medical Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeastern Michigan. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at (248) 362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com. Published: Tue, Oct 25, 2011